Coronation Street Catch Up: the dental floss underwear edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Like you, I'm deeply shocked and distressed by what happened last week.

That's right, I'm talking about Kevin wanting an REO Speedwagon tribute band to play at his wedding. Oh the humanity! 

While we're all processing that, let's turn to other news.

On the drug distribution scene, Leanne is getting tired of the endless errands she is forced to do by Horrid Harvey, local drug entrepreneur and accomplished hard man. Harv continues to threaten Leanne (using Simon as leverage) until Leanne can't take any more and goes to the police (sans lawyer, natch). She provides mucho info about Harvey but is then recruited by the coppers as an informant and must now gather evidence to use against the drug gang. That sounds dangerous.

Collateral damage here is poor old Nick who remains in the dark, banned from his own apartment and now asked to leave Natasha's place because he doesn't have "feelings" for her. On top of that, Nick and Toyah think that Leanne is seeing another man (she isn't).

Turning to pyramid schemes, Reptilian Rhydian keeps gullible Sean on the Double Glammy scam team and increases Sean's sales quota, tempting him along the way with a car he can't use and a luxury flat he can't afford. Worse still, Despicable Daisy becomes Sean's partner in crime. 

The sad saga of Cathy continues as Brian learns about Cathy trolling Steve and his charity on social media. Brian gallantly takes the rap for Cathy's ill advised posts and becomes the target of graffiti and scorn. Steve eventually agrees to help Brian by trying to moderate Tracy's venom (good luck with that).

Then there's Ty and Fiz. Following an excruciating public scene where Fiz surprises Ty with plans for a wedding in Greece, the truth comes out about Ty and his feelings for Alina. Fiz is devastated and the news quickly spreads. Finally Fiz and Ty establish a detente with a view to continuing their relationship, but is that sustainable?    

Todd is at it again, trying to set up Paul with some bloke, presumably in order to clear the path for him and Billy to get back together. Kelly is still working hard to convince Imran and Toyah to become her foster parents.

And now for some lines from the week that was:

Brian shares his nickname as someone who can withstand insults and jibes:
"Pachyderm Packham"

(I prefer Brian the Boar)

Jenny tells Brian he's not welcome at the Rovers:

"You're persona non garter"

(...but he can certainly wear one the next time he comes in)

Ty tells Fiz about Kev's musical preference for his wedding:

"He wants an REO Speedwagon tribute band"

(would you settle for Ozzy Osborne and a drum machine?)

Bernie tells Cathy what she'd do if she won the lottery:

"Get a few of my bits and bobs lifted"

(way too much information)

Daisy brags to Sean about her dubious sales talents:
"I could sell cocaine to Columbia"

(I'll pass that along to El Chapo)

Seb to Ty when he discovers that Ty's the object of Alina's affection:
"You're old. You're married. You've got two kids."

(so what's your point?)

Fiz makes a surprise announcement to Ty:
"We're getting married in Greece"

(don't book that tour of the Acropolis just yet)

Fiz to Ty about Alina's flirtatious behaviour:
"...leaving her dental floss underwear everywhere"

(yes, and two thongs don't make a right)

Daisy to Sean about his pyramid scheme:
"I kind of like ripping people off "

(she's quite the Mother Teresa)

***

Well, fellow Coronation Street Connoisseurs, so ends another week with lots of distress and sadly not many happy, fun stories. Leanne is enmeshed in a police sting operation. Ty is enmeshed in a messy love triangle. Brian is enmeshed in an online trolling mess. Sean is enmeshed in a pyramid scheme. A little levity wouldn't go amiss these days. I'd settle for an amusing bat watching story with Roy. Oh well. Thanks for keeping me company at the Hip and have a great week.