Friday, July 17, 2009

Finding Rosie

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the July 16 episode on CBC

Looks like we end the week with a 'Blanche's Polish Hip' exclusive (or as Blanche herself would say 'stop twittering on and get on wi' it before me spotted dick gets cold'). The Weatherfield detachment of her majesty's finest are leaving no stone unturned in their exhaustive search for Rosie Webster.

According to unnamed sources (Norris Cole? - ed), the police have come up with two lists (Franz and Schindler's? - ed) : one list of places where Rosie probably is and another list of places where she most probably is not. Here they are:

Top five places to find Rosie Webster
1. The thong department at Marks & Spencer
2. Cruising the canal - without a boat (or a car, à la David Platt)
3. Underneath Underworld (see Tony Gordon for details)
4. Bikini Village with Saj
5. Germany with ex-boyfriend Craig, visiting Checkpoint Charlie because she says it was named after Charlie Stubbs.

Top five places not to find Rosie Webster
1. Weatherfield Public Library ("Books? Are you serious?")
2. Weatherfield Historical Society ("I don't want to hang around with a bunch of saddos hearing about ancient things like the Beatles")
3. Emily's Church Charity Shop ("You mean other people have worn these clothes? Gross!")
4. In Africa with Hayley ("Although I could get a serious tan there and I've always wanted to go to Brazil")
5. Any educational institution ("You mean like school? Been there, done that. Slept with the teacher.")

That's it for the week. Thanks for stopping by and enjoy the Sunday omnibus edition. Feel free to leave comments. I read them all - even if Blanche doesn't.

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