Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Violent Night

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the October 12 episode on CBC

There's nothing like Christmas on Coronation Street. Not one of those fake, happy-family, Hallmark card Christmases like you usually see on TV, but a good ol' tension-filled, dysfunctional potpourri with a little Tony Gordon violence thrown in for good measure. I still remember last Christmas when John Stape sent the wrong present to the wrong girlfriend (Steve Mcdonald, please take note - ed) with disastrous results. Good times. This year, the season of good cheer is similarly rife with drama. Let's take a peek by category:

Low dysfunction (green alert on the dysfunction meter):
- Joe McIntyre's terrible tale of woe continues. No money, no apartment, no tools. No hope. Tina's not too happy but Gail's got a smile as broad as the viaduct. The charade continues because "it's a precious time." (And it's David's birthday, clear the canal - ed)

Medium dysfunction (amber alert on the dysfunction meter)
- Steve's two-timing act continues as he juggles eye-candy Michelle with la belle Beckie. Liz gets a CD (Vernon's Greatest Hit? - ed) and former feuding females (Michelle & Carla) are making nice despite a recent spat over Liam (Liam who? - ed). Meanwhile, Ryan finally got his hair cut (or had that Tribble surgically removed from his head - ed). That's the greatest gift of all.

High dysfunction (red alert on the dysfunction meter)
- Tony's seasonal escapades continue as he gives Carla a negligee, removes Jed from a Christmas hamper, wraps the 'Jed-i' in festive duct tape and breaks into a house Santa-style to spread good cheer - before trying to leave Grinch-style with two garbage bags full of Jed's favourite caps. Is there no end to TG's jolly Christmas spirit? Ho, ho, ho.

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