top three worst weddings

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the November 3 episode on CBC

I'm so confused. Is Tyrone marrying Anne of Cleves? Is Henry the VIII betrothed to Lady Molly of Compton? Is Jackie Dobbs disguised as Oliver Cromwell? I guess I should stop trying to watch the Tudors and Coronation Street at the same time (either that or switch to 'E-Talk Daily' - ed).

Yesterday I ventured an opinion on the top three Corrie weddings. Today, I go where no-one has gone before, into the archives of nuptial negativity (get on with with it - ed). Ahem, my vote for the three worst weddings.

3. Deirdre Hunt & Ray Langton. Somewhere back in the mid-seventies, rough-hewn Ray got together with the be-spectacled Deirdre. I believe they met while she was working as a secretary/assistant in the buidling yard owned by Len Fairclough. After a stormy courtship, they got married, each sporting a matching mullet hairdo for the occasion. Oh the humanity!

2. Carla Connor & Tony Gordon. She was wearing purple, he was wearing a kilt. That's all you need to know. Oh, you say you need to know more? Sally was drunk. Kevin was drunk. That's 50% of the Websters who were pie-eyed and more than enough to spoil any festive occasion.

1. It's a tie!

Mavis Riley & Derek Wilton. The first time around, this timid twosome managed to stand each other up at the church (neither showed up). Take two was at the registry office and this time it worked. I believe their union produced a budgie and several garden gnomes.

Vernon Tomlin & Liz Mcdonald. The Western theme called for Vernon and Liz to wear white and Vernon sported a cowboy hat. Jim Mcdonald thought a little red would add a dash of colour (so it would) thus he clobbered 'Tex' Tomlin -- but the wedding went ahead anyway.