Tuesday, December 22, 2009

the envelope please...

no spoilers were used in the preparation of this post

Well, it's almost the end of the year and things are relatively quiet on the street except for the Windass-Platt showdown in court. Seems like it's a good time to unveil an end-of-year tradition here at Blanche's Polish Hip (shortest tradition in the history of Corrie next to Ken & Deirdre's monogamy - ed). Of course, I'm talking about the 2009 People's Golden Hotpots, our annual awards ceremony which combines the critical acumen of the Golden Globes with the understated dignity of the People's Choice Awards and the humility of the Oscars. So, let's get to it. Imagine, if you will, a magnificent theatre and an audience filled with celebs in glamourous gowns and tuxedos. (well, that's not the People's Golden Hotpots). The Golden Hotpots are awarded in Roy's Caf while the audience drinks tea with five sugars and a barm cake. (Get on with it - ed).

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the First Annual People's Golden Hotpots. The names of the winners are carefully tabulated by the Peter Barlow bookie shop and kept under tight security in Bill Webster's yard (right next to the copper pipe - ed) until tonight.

Let's start with the first category, 'Best Fight on the Street' in 2009. And the nominees are:

Liz versus Clarissa, 'a hair-pulling odyssey'
Becky versus Kelly, 'let the fur fly'
David Platt versus Gary Windass, 'the nose knows'

...and the Golden Hotpot for 2009 goes to: Becky versus Kelly, let the fur fly!

Now, in the category, 'Best New Character on the Street' in 2009. Oh, this is a tough one and the competition is fierce. The nominees are:

Luke Strong, Carla's advocate and hunky counterpoint to TG
Martha, the narrow boat lady who serves Ken tea and Kimonos
The Windasses, (take your pick, they're interchangeable)
Ted Page, Gail's gay dad
Paula Carp, mother of Julie
Graeme Proctor, horticulturist and ex-con

...may I have the envelope please. And the Golden Hotpot for 2009 goes to: Graeme Proctor.

Turning to the next category, 'Best Love Story of 2009', and the nominees are:

Liam & Carla, forbidden love in the factory
Steve & Becky, forbidden love in the smoking shelter
Tyrone & Molly, not particularly forbidden love in the pigeon area
Amber & Darryl, forbidden love among the kebabs

... and the Golden Hotpot goes to: Steve and Becky for their forbidden love in the smoking shelter of the Rovers.

Now, in the category of 'Best Courtroom Drama'. The nominees are:

David Platt, for his court appearance following a psycho rampage and for pushing his mom down stairs (sorry, Gail)
John Stapes, for his sentencing hearing for kidnapping Rosie Webster
Gary Windass, for his court appearance for assault causing bodily harm to David Platt

And the Golden Hotpot goes to... David Platt!

In the category, 'Worst Love Story', the nominees are:

Dev & Tara
Dev & Nina
Dev & Prem (who knew?)

...and the Golden Hotpot goes to: Dev & anyone

We'll continue with the rest of the People's Golden Hotpots tomorrow including such exciting categories as: Most Sad Departure from Street, Most Welcome Return, Best Recurrent Non-Speaking Role (I've got my fingers crossed for Amy - ed), Best Animal Performance and more. Stay tuned.

1 comment:

  1. I love this Corrie. Great idea! Mary