Thursday, March 11, 2010

He's just not that into you

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the March 10 episode on CBC

I don't quite know how to put this, Natasha, but the thing is that Tony Gordon is... (a psychopath? - ed) just not that into you. Yes, I know you like the cut of his jib (jib cutting is one of his thug's specialties - ed) and the fact that he has a fancy flat and a flash car. And, yes, technically he is available (since his wife escaped his clutches, discovered he was a killer and flew to LA - ed). But, to paraphrase Audrey, lovie you really should read the signs:

When he stands you up to assemble furniture, he's just not that into you.

When he invites you over for a quick shag and then forgets who you are the next day, he's just not that into you.

When he comes into the salon, ignores you and makes beeline for Maria, he's just not that into you.

When the only phone calls you get from him are after 11pm when there's nothing on TV, he's just not that into you.

When he spends more time getting to know Luke Strong's background than yours, he's just not that into you.

I know, I know. You like the dark, edgy type. Besides, what's a girl to do when the chronological range of available single men on the Street runs from Kirk Sutherland to Norris Cole (hey what about Gary Windass & Bill Webster? - ed). But still, lovie, have some self-respect. That Tony Gordon will leave you crying... or worse (stuffed in a clothes hamper or living in Wigan - or both - ed).

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