Thursday, April 15, 2010


spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the April 14 episode on CBC

The recession seems to be on everyone's mind these days on Coronation Street, so this edition of BPH answers some of the top-of-mind-questions about finance, the economy and bail-outs.

Q: Why does Rosie Webster have to sleep with Luke Strong in order to kick start the economy?
A: Good question. The economic crisis affecting Coronation Street is severe. Just look at the statistics: Skiving at Underworld is down 29%, alcohol consumption at the Rovers is up 41% and some of Jack's homing pigeons have even lost their homes. This situation requires a stimulus package and, if anyone can provide that stimulus, it's Rosie. (Just ask Stape's cellmates).

Q: But how does sleeping with Luke Strong help the economy?
A: First, it makes the recession a little more pleasant (hey, he's easy on the eyes and nothing's easier than Rosie) Second, it sends a clear signal to the capital markets that Rosie is interested investing in the private sector. By putting her post-handbag money (several pounds) into Underworld, she is revitalizing the all-important knicker industry, one of the mainstays of the Weatherfield economy.

Q: And how does that help other businesses?
A: It's the trickle down theory at work. If Underworld is doing well, then Janice buys more custard cream biscuits from Dev. Dev pays Molly more money for more hours. Molly gets her motor running at Kev's. Kev avoids Sally by having breakfast at Roy's caf. Roy has an orange juice at the Rovers and Steve attracts more punters named 'Slug'. It's the economic circle of life.

Q: So what was the economic benefit when Rosie slept with Gary Windass?
A: None really. But think of it as a dating 'bail out'. Also, it briefly reduced the number of people actively searching for employment at the job centre.

Q: Which economic sectors will rebound the fastest after the recession?
A: Based on Rosie's economic forecasts: thongs, gossip magazines, short skirts, champagne and taxis are all growth sectors.

No comments:

Post a Comment