Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Less than zero

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the April 19 episode on CBC

The big story may be Kev and Molly practicing 'popular mechanics' in the garage with the doors closed or doing that popular biathlon sport: jogging & snogging. But, in my twisted mind, I remain transfixed by the inevitable countdown of Rosie's fortune from £150, 000 to... (wait, wait, don't tell me - ed)... zero.

Let's do a quick tally of the damage so far:

- celebratory champagne, cocktails, taxis and clubbing (£3,000 at least)
- designer handbag (£3,000)
- designer clothes (say.. £6,000)
- fancy new car which Rosie can't drive (£25,000)

So, we're up to £37,000 (probably more) already spent since Rosie actually got her money from John Stape. Now, let's take away another £25,000 for Rosie's 10 per cent investment in Underworld. Now we're down to £88,000 left from her original windfall which translates into an average of more than £8,000 per episode spent by Rosie .

So, the question is: how many episodes will it take for Rosie to completely run out of money?

According to my calculations, based on the current RCB (Rosie Cash Burn), Rosie should be back down to zero after only 11 more episodes! Yikes. However, I wouldn't be at all surprised if 'la Rosie' throws a fair amount of brass away on some more big ticket items (a fur-lined sink? - ed) in the days to come. After all, a girl needs a hot tub and you could fit one into Sally's precious conservatory (you mean Teresa's ashtray? - ed) and, of course, Rosie will want to take her new BFF (Minnie the Moocher? - ed) on a luxo vacation with all the mod cons.

One thing, however, is for sure. Rosie's windfall won't last very long and she will soon be skint and back at Underworld doing what she does best (sleeping with the boss? -ed), answering phones, making coffee and swanning around the factory floor.

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