Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The 'V'-word

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the May 11 episode on CBC

Ouch! Poor Ashley seems destined to get the big snip, the shock and ahh, the unkindest cut, the... (get on with it - ed). Yes, it's true. Darling Claire (can't miss her, she's the one on the roof in a hospital gown, not that there's anything wrong with that - ed) has had a pregnancy scare and she certainly doesn't want to go through all that again. There's only one solution (Call Casey, Claire's nutty friend and former legover partner of Ashley? - ed), a vasectomy for Ashley. Now, of course, this is a big step for a man (one small leap for mankind - ed) so he'll want to get all the facts, Here's a quick Q&A to assuage his fears:

Q: What is a vasectomy?
A: Well, as Dr. Lloyd of Streetcars says, it's "summit exciting". Exciting in that, hmm... how should I put this, it will effectively take the 'Peacock' out of Ashley Peacock. It's a quick surgical procedure which will ensure that Ashley's lovemaking does not get Claire pregnant (given the current state of their love life, it may not make a 'vas deferens' - ed)

Q: How is a vasectomy done?
Quickly, if it's at the clinic where Gail works. A little snip from the doc (and a little snippiness from Gail) and you're on your way. The doctor will give you a local anesthetic (boy, they have everything in Weatherfield! - ed) to... err.. numb your scrotum (if it isn't already).

Q: What can I expect after the vasectomy?
A: More mithering from Claire, a miserable life of hard graft and Graeme's words of wisdom. Oh, you mean the operation. Well, you may have some pain, swelling and bruising (only if you hang around the viaduct at night and tell the yobs about the vasectomy - ed) and the surgery may cause some discomfort as well.

1 comment:

  1. Vas deferens pun requires speedy and merciless execution of editor.