Thursday, November 4, 2010

Hire a Hiyalowa

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the Nov 3 episode on CBC

Looks like Jesse is dissatisfied with his current Hiyalowa. That can only mean one thing: a new job posting at the Weatherfield Job Centre:

Now Hiring a Hiyalowa

Professional children's entertainer/electrician seeks ambitious, energetic self-starter for high level theatrical productions... for 6-12 year olds. The successful candidate will perform sensitive, non-stereotypical depictions of a young native American woman struggling to come to terms with a changing American society and the manful, comedic sensibilities of the show's star, General Custard™. General Custard is widely regarded as the finest children's entertainer in the Northwest (excluding Andrew Lloyd Webber, of course) 

Candidates must posess:
- impeccable comedic timing and ability to say things like: "Oh yes, he does" and "Oh no, he doesn't"
- demonstrated skill with a bow and arrow (diploma preferred)
- ability to convince Eileen that General Custard and Hiyalowa are not romantically linked
- a love of parrots 
- an ability to keep track of General Custard's Smith and Wessons (and his guns too)

- extensive travel is required (but mostly around the vicinity of Rovers)
- working with children and electricians and occasionally birds
- dressing in stereotypical native American garb and occasionally keeping on the costume for rehearsals and other role play activities as specified by the General (ask Julie Carp for details)
- sharing a drink with General Custard in the Rovers after performances
- meeting Jesse's parents

Interested applicants (except David Platt, Joe McIntyre & Kirk Sutherland) should ask for application 7324516-B at the Weatherfield Job Centre main desk

*Please note that General Custard is an equal opportunity employer and particularly welcomes applications  from women -- although he does want to fire his current gay Hiyalowa

No comments:

Post a Comment