spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the Jan 3 episode on CBC
First and foremost, Happy New Year to all fellow Corrie fans and many, many thanks for all the comments about the Second Annual People's Golden Hotpot Awards. Much appreciated even though controversy erupted in the Best Crime Story category as readers couldn't believe that Tony Gordon's arrest for murder was overlooked as the winner in that category. I don't know what the judges were thinking...
Anyhoo, let's move on to Coronation Street 2011 as the extremely sensible and self-sufficient Simon escapes the delights of Balmy Blackpool (jewel of the North West - ed) and returns to Weatherfield. How did he get back? Knowing Simon, he probably rented a car and drove himself ("I just took the M55 along to the M61 then went south on the M61 to Manchester. Stopped for petrol and a sandwich and bought some sausages from Freshco for supper, silly. How was rehab, dad?")
But the big story is Joe's funeral and the little, shall we say 'contretemps', which broke out in the sombre confines of the church. Tina is upset and bolts out of the church only to return and find Gail Platt doing what appears to be a stand-up routine in front of the congregation. Allow me to paraphrase in case you missed it (by paraphrase, I assume you mean make stuff up - ed):
"How you're all doing? Nice to be here. Hey, it's not easy living with someone with depression. Especially during a depression. (da dum dum). Fortunately, we had access to the local medical clinic. Too bad Joe thought it was self-serve. (da dum dum). But seriously, it's like the elephant in the room. It's there all the time - just like David only much less annoying. (da dum dum). Just kidding, David.
But seriously, ladies and germs, I still say Joe was the best thing that happened to me since I took a land/cruise package with my last husband - without a boat. Da dum dum. Is this thing on? I know we're in church but feel free to crack a smile before the recessional hymn. Speaking of religious music, what's the deal with hymns? Were they all written by guys? Why don't they call them 'hers'?
Anyhoo, I see Tina's back so I'll just say thanks, you've been a great audience and, if you're planning on making something... why not make me a channel of your peace? Gail out. Word."