Tony Gordon, It's Friday. Colin Fishwick edition

The way things are going. John Stape could find himself back in the nick grappling with Tony Gordon for a bar of soap in the communal showers. But I digress. It's Friday and all hail the award-winning (well, not yet, but dammit we're due) weekly feature: Tony Gordon, It's Friday or TGIF, your weekly round-up of some of the more memorable lines of the week. Let's get this started:

Sian asks Ryan (pronounced Rye-Ann, two syllables) if he wants to visit her new home:
"Do you want to come to Southport for the weekend?"
(do chickens have lips?)


Kevin finally figures out what Sophie's footballer boyfriend really does:
"You work the burger van outside county’s ground."
(Right next to Wayne Rooney's chip wagon)


John Stapes tells Fiz what he really thinks about Colin Fishwick:
"Colin is a puffed up soulless arrogant pig"
(and those are his good points...)


John Stape is having an identity crisis:
"I don’t know who am I anymore"
(let me jog your memory: you're a pervy kidnapper)


Stape reveals his name to the job interviewer:
"Fishwick, Colin Fishwick."
(licence to fib?)


Steve warns Lloyd that Leanne's friend may be, you know, paid by the hour:
"Well I think they call it they oldest profession in the world don’t they?"
(Skiving?)


Steve asks a pointed question at the adoption meeting:
"Uh, we live in a pub. Is that a problem?"
(certainly not for you)


Deirdre asks Ken a pointed question about Mr. Stape:
"How long is it gonna be before John’s walking on the canal bank one day and an actress comes floating on a barge and he forgets all about his wedding vows."
(depends on the speed of the barge)


Eddie tells Anna not to pin her adoption hopes on getting a child like her son: 
"They're not gonna give us another Gary." 
 (Her Majesty's Correctional Services will be pleased to hear that)

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That's it for another week. Enjoy the weekend and thanks very much for stopping by to visit. Cheers to all and I'm hoping that all renovations to the Hip-odrome are completed shortly.