Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Kirk Sutherland's CV

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the March 14 episode on CBC

Poor Kirk. I don't like to see him flailing around looking for a job when all he needs is a good resume to set him on the right path. Fortunately, resume writing is one of my talents (then why don't you have a decent job? - ed). Let me try to spruce up Kirk's Curriculum Vitae and thus make him more attractive to Carla (in that case, you'd better send it to her wrapped around a cask of chardonnay - ed).

Kirk Sutherland

Address: bit of a problem as I'm between lodgings right now. Just text me mobile if you need to reach me or leave a message on my online dating account: jasongrimshaw@meetmarket.com

Career Objective: 
To find a dynamic, customer-service oriented position in the dog or butchering sector.


EXPERIENCE:

Hiyalowa - played female native North American along with General Custard for children's performing troupe for short-term engagement (one day).

Apprentice Butcher - performed all required butchering duties (cutting, cleaving, gutting, sawing, sweeping) at Elliot's Butcher Shop. Laid off due to economic reasons.

Dog Walker - walked dogs (as the title implies)

Dog Kennel Manager - you'd think that this were similar to dog walking but is in fact completely different. Duties included: walking dogs.

HOBBIES:
- yes

EDUCATION:
- yes



2 comments:

  1. Your CV is looking Simple and great with only required information.You should mention hobbies and education in details.

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  2. Thanks for the comment. I actually thought long and hard about that. For education I thought of putting: 'yeah, I'll give it a try' or 'yes, please'. For hobbies, I was going to put, well, 'dog walking'.
    Cheers, CH

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