What courtroom drama! I haven't seen such theatrics in a legal setting since, well, Gail Platt was sent down for murder (not that long ago actually - ed). Actually I find both barristers to be a bit, how you say, flamboyant. But that's nothing compared to the drama going on outside the courtroom where Frank Vole Foster (his full name, I believe -ed) has plans to reveal the compromising snaps of Peter's tattoos doing the love mambo with Carla.
Meanwhile, inside the courtroom, Leanne is getting more and more antsy about the line of questioning regarding Carla's relationship with the ancient (sub)mariner. As a famous philosopher once said, (Stephen Fry, I think), it's only a matter of time before it all kicks off.
So, on to some of the tasty gems from the week:
Tracy is bummed and searches for alcohol in the Barlow home:
"I just want something to render me unconscious"
(Try calling Claire Peacock, she was able to oblige the last time)
Ken commiserates with Steve:
"I lost the woman I love... more than once"
(Ken's a one-woman - at a time - man)
Kylie is irritated by criticism of Max's unhealthy lunches:
"I blame Jamie Oliver"
(Just wait till he tries a hotpot!)
Deirdre is getting aggro from Ken and Tracy:
"I'm back in the doghouse"
(Move over Eccles, you've got a roommate)
Mary is perplexed by Sylvia's scientific approach to measuring applause:
"What's a clapometer?"
(believe me, you don't want to know)
Peter confesses to Carla that his carousing days are over:
"I'm too old for clubbing"
(I think Leanne will beg to differ when she comes at him with a two-by-four)
Norris tells Mary not to waste time flirting with Marcus:
"Don't get your hopes up, he's on the wrong bus"
(yes, but at least he's on a bus, not standing on the platform)
Tracy tries to make up with Steve by cooking Indian food:
"Have a papadum"
(It'll take more than a papadum to convince this dumb papa)
Carla's lawyer summarizes Frank Foster for the jury:
"He is a cold, calculating sexual predator"
(and those are his good points)
The judge is concerned about Carla on the witness stand:
"Would you like a glass of water?"
(only if there's some Scotch in it)
Well, faithful lovers of Coronation Street, that's it for another week. We go from the dramatic reveal of Tracy's lies to the courtroom drama and Frank Foster's lies. What lies ahead? Anger, tears, argy bargy, more tunes on the uke-banjo and the language of Milton (not that Milton, the one who's courting Sylvia). Bye for now. Thanks so much for stopping by and have a great weekend.
Official Coronation Street Catfight Countdown Clock™
NUMBER OF ELAPSED DAYS WITHOUT A KNOCK DOWN, DRAG OUT FIGHT BETWEEN CARLA & LEANNE: