Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Karl Munro's gold medal performance

please note this post makes reference to the July 31 episode on CBC

the story so far... Mary, Hayley and Norris are attending ballroom dancing class, the relationship between Marcus and Sean is strained because of Aidan and other issues, Eva continues to have suspicions about Karl and Sunita, Leanne accepts Nick's offer to get back together, Beth and Tracy continue plotting to thwart Steve's plan to sell the house.

Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but our lawyers (Slingya, Hook & Bard) have once again advised us that we are contravening stringent IOC copyright regulations by using the word "gold medal". Apparently "medal" is okay but we are legally forbidden from referring to the metals: "gold", "silver" or "bronze". In fact, after consulting the periodic table, our lawyers have advised us that the only metals we can mention are: zinc, cobalt, manganese and molybdenum (better get the lead out too - ed).

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yes, the curious case of Karl Munro. Now, I know, at the best of times, that the allure of most males on Coronation Street is, how you say, perplexing. But, in the case of Karl, it's a downright mystery. This opinion is shared by Judy at the Tim Hortons as well as our receptionist (Abby Downton) and the cafeteria lady (Sue Vide).

No female with a pulse can quite comprehend the male musk that is Karl. He's a cab driver, a bit of a skiver, a gambling addict and a bloke with harebrained schemes (i.e. big screen TV) and dodgy pals. Where's the attraction? None the less, old Karl seems to be the irresistible object of desire. For reasons unfathomable, Sunita chose lucky Karl for a lusty legover and now she's doing that Fatal Attraction thing (quick, hide the rabbit - ed).

Stella gives him chance after chance and Karl never fails to disappoint. How many times will he hit rock bottom before Stella realizes that he's like the coffee service at Denny's?  (bottomless). Meanwhile Karl is proving himself to be the Olympic Champion of deception. He's manages to conceal his gambling, his affair and his lies with great success (for the most part). He's like the Michael Phelps of toerags. He's conned everyone and so far is keeping a lid on his playing away exploits. He's even got Stella believing that he'll get help with his gambling addiction.

"He's my world," Stella says to Eva.

Give that man a medal (a molybdenum metal of course).

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