Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Rating Coronation Street's cowboy builders

please note this post makes reference to the March 4 episode on CBC

What's a cowboy builder, you ask? It's a fine, ancient tradition on Coronation Street dating back many decades. There has almost always been a builder (or contractor) with a yard on the Street and he has always exhibited similar characteristics: hot-headed, tempestuous love life, capable of hoisting a jar or two and occasionally known to actually build something.

The current cowboy builder 'du jour' is Owen Armstrong. In some ways, he's quite different from his neanderthal ancestors (i.e. he's a single dad who raised two daughters), but in other ways he still has the same Len Fairclough Type A blood coursing through his veins. (Get on with it! - ed).

But enough chat. Let's take a step back through time and assess some of the legendary builders with 'Rate my Cowboy Builder'. By the way, the maximum rating in any category is five stars. Take a look and see if you agree:

Len was probably the original prototype of the Corrie builder. He was a fixture on the street and even built a few things (including a house). He was a ladies' man, particularly when it came to Elsie Tanner and the fair Rita. He even hired a variety of punters over the years including the infamous Ray Langton (see below). He could also put away a few pints and had more than a few fights. Sound familiar?
Hot headed?               (☆)
Ladies' man?              (☆)
Pint prowess?            (☆)
Build anything?         (☆)

Most famous for wooing and capturing the heart of fair Deirdre (yes, that Deirdre). Ray was a disagreeable sourpuss with the unique ability to get up a lot of people's noses simultaneously. He had a roving eye for the ladies and a penchant for trouble.  Tracy is his biological daughter (no surprise).
Hot headed?                (☆)
Ladies' man?               ()
Pint prowess?             (☆)
Build anything?          (☆)

We enter the 21st century of builders with Charlie Stubbs, a mean-spirited fellow who was not nice especially to woman (like Shelley the barmaid). Then he made the mistake of taking up with Tracy and got hit on the head with a blunt object. Game over. Also, he tried to drown David Platt once and he hired Jason to work for him. 
Hot headed?               (☆)
Ladies' man?               (
Pint prowess?            ()
Build anything?         (☆)

The latest, but is he the greatest? He certainly has the temper but doesn't seem to imbibe as much as his predecessors and actually spends a fair bit of time building things, particularly after the tram crash. Plus, he's actually a single father who spends time with his kids. That's different.
Hot headed?               ()
Ladies' man?                (☆)
Pint prowess?             (☆)
Build anything?          ()

...hmm, looks like Len is the winner.

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