Monday, May 27, 2013

David Platt's Human Gee Gnome

please note this post makes reference to the May 24 episode on CBC

Remember that time when David Platt drove a car into Graeme Proctor because Graeme was dating David's ex (Tina)?

Well, turned out that David was sick (you mean like 'Criminal Minds' sick? - ed). No it was not advanced clinical psychopathy (as we thought) but rather a seizure which caused David to have a black out and run over poor Graeme (could happen to anyone -ed). Then, everyone forgot all about David and his seizures and he seemed to return to his regular mental nutbar self.

Fast forward a year or so and David's mysterious illness has re-appeared. This time he was not driving a car but rather a baby stroller. No damage done but Davey boy is now concerned about his baby (you mean Nick's baby? - ed) and wants Kylie to have a genetic test.

What could such a test reveal?

Well,  the human genome is believed to contain around 20,000 - 25,000 genes. In David's Platt's case, we can safely assume that 10,000 of those genes are associated with his patented headcase pyscho behaviour.  But what if David's not the Dad?  In that case, genetic testing could reveal some highly suspicious traits like: unusual ear size and placement, painful facial expressions, inexplicable attraction to Leanne and an innate talent for bistro management.

If genetic testing does prove that David is not daddy dearest, you can expect old Davey Boy to get back behind the wheel of a fast car -- but this time he's going to be aiming for his brother.

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