Monday, July 1, 2013

Coronation Street Warning: We are at DAVECON 1!

please note this post makes reference to the July 1 episode on CBC

Did you see the psycho look on David Platt's face? That can only mean one thing (another drive in the canal? - ed). No, another thing. (Gail is scheduled for another express trip down the staircase? - ed). No, not that either. Judging by the evil, satanic expression on the boy-devil's face, David is in a deadly state of destructive violence which we call DAVECON 1.

What is DAVECON, you say?

I'm glad you asked. The DAVECON (not to be confused with DEVCON; that's something else) warning system was developed by Blanche's Polish Hip to serve as a handy David Platt alert system indicating five graduated levels of psycho-boy nuttiness (or states of alert) from DAVECON 5 to DAVECON 1 as follows:

DAVECON 5  (least dangerous, like when David is giving someone a perm at Audrey's Salon)
DAVECON 4  (slightly elevated level of evil like when David burned his exam paper in high school)
DAVECON 3 (significant evil alert level like when David tricks Gary into burglarizing Audrey's flat and Ted has a heart attack)
DAVECON 2 (elevated evil level like when David loosened the bolt on Jason's scaffolding)
DAVECON 1 (extreme level of evil - Nick & Kylie should leave town, Gail should avoid using the stairs)

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