Coronation Street TGIF special: the pumped up toy boy with a tan edition

note: no spoilers were used in the making of this post

Neil literally can't believe that Andrea would have an affair with someone like Steve. So, when he storms into the Rovers and finds Andrea and Steve together, Neil is shocked and says:

"I was expecting some sort of pumped up toy boy with a tan"

Of course, I can't help thinking what other choice lines Neil could have come up with upon setting his eyes on the glory that is Steve McDonald. Here are my top six suggestions for what Neil might have said:

1.  "I was expecting Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing, not Dr. Zaius from Planet of the Apes"

2.  "I was expecting to see your bit on the side, but this is a lot on the side"

3.  "I was expecting someone well fit, not well fat"

4.  "I was expecting a young stud, not an old dud"

5.  "I was expecting to see your legover, not a leftover"

6.  "I was expecting a dreamboat, not a shipwreck"