Saturday, October 31, 2015

Coronation Street Catch-Up: the Callum-is-resting-like-Monty-Python's-parrot edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street

In case you're wondering. Yes, Callum is still cemented into the floor underneath Gail's Granny flat. No movement (so to speak) on that front. Nothing concrete to report (that's enough - ed). 

Much Platt Chat™ going on as Kylie, David and Sarah try to keep it together while Callum's bereaved Mom keeps popping over every five minutes for any news of her beloved druggie thuggie son.

But, much like the Monty Python parrot, Callum is no more. He has ceased to be. He is a late drug dealer. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. If you hadn't cemented him into the floor, he would be pushing up the daisies.

Rev Billy lends a sympathetic ear to Sarah but it falls to David to threaten Sarah if she doesn't keep quiet.

Other news? (Yes please - ed). Aidan's Dad (Here's Johnny) shows up at the factory along with Aidan's fit sister. Small snag it seems. Aidan used Dad's cash to buy into Underworld. Now it's a case of how many Connors does it take to screw in a light bulb at Underworld. Johnny's got a lot of experience in the rag trade (sadly it all dates back before the 19th century - he once dated Cotton Jenny).

Roy and Ken take in a classical concert hitting the town together in an alliance reminiscent of the old SDP-Liberal Alliance leaders David Owen and David Steel (but with more charisma). Speaking of music (well, not really) Amy is taking up the violin.

Luke is secretly racing cars until the Street Mole (Norris) tips off Maria. But Luke swears off the dangerous sport (cars not Norrris) after hearing the sad news that a tragic hip replacement means that Maria has to go to Cyprus to take care of her parents and the.. um.. donkey sanctuary (I didn't even know Kirk lived in Cyprus - ed).

Now for a few lines from last week:

Johnny asks Aidan about one of the more interesting employees:
"Do you employ Kirk to fulfill some kind of quota?"
(what are you implying?)

Kylie shows Sarah the sewer in the garage:
"This is Callum's final resting place"
(yeah, cemeteries are so last year)

Ken recounts his musical experience to Robert
"I flirted with the trumpet" 
(Don't you mean strumpet?)

Tracy's words of advice to Amy re: the violin:
"If at first you don't succeed, pack it in"
(Is that from a Winston Churchill speech?)

Carla to Aidan re: a meeting with a potential client 
"Don't make us look like clowns"
(yeah, that's Kirk's job)


Well, ladies and gentlemen, so ends another week. Callum is still underneath Gail's floor in the Granny flat. The saga continues. Sarah is on the verge of cracking. Can she keep it together or will she go back to Milan where there are much fewer bodies in cement floors per capita (according to OECD). 

Thanks as always for stopping by and sharing the news about Blanche's Polish Hip. Our numbers are soaring into the single digits. Maybe it's time to monetize - but first I have to find out what monetize means.  Have a great week and do come back. You're always welcome. Cheers!


  1. Two things. No, three things.
    I've never been able to tell. Is the donkey sanctuary meant to be a joke, or are there a plethora of them on Cyprus?
    The "If at first" quote is probably from Bart Simpson.
    Do we have to choose just one among Ken's strumpet collection?
    No, make that four things.
    I can't believe the dead parrot sketch didn't pop into my head lately! That's why we need this site!

    1. Thanks so much for the comment and sorry about the delay in replying. I suspect the donkey sanctuary is part joke and part extension of the Sutherland's previous business (a dog kennel). Glad you liked the parrot sketch reference. All the best.