Saturday, July 13, 2019

Coronation Street Catch Up: the pen-is mightier than the lighthouse edition

your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Let's start with Steve who is feeling decidedly sorry for himself as it's his birthday and no surprise party is planned by Tracy. In  fact, the only celebratory gesture was a nice manscaping kit from Amy and some early morning um... "flossing" from Tracy (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).

Steve also has a great idea for a start-up business which involves renting out Tiny the Horse as an erstwhile unicorn for children's parties. No-one is enthused about this.

Elsewhere Robert is still doing his two-timing tango, stringing along Vicki and Michelle with custom-designed lies. Only Ryan seems to be suspicious of Robert's mysterious movements.

Things are getting decidedly creepy between Geoff and Yasmeen. First Geoff sabotages Ryan's mixing equipment and the blame falls on Yasmeen. Then, when Yasmeen is mugged, Geoff tries to keep her under a sort of smarmy house arrest. I know there have been a lot of villains on Corrie but, between you and me, this Geoff fella really gets my goat with his controlling behaviour and his cringeworthy quips.

The latest salvo comes when jewelry and photos are stolen from Yasmeen's house and Geoff blames two of Alya's friends. Then Alya sees Geoff getting out of his car and accidentally dropping a stolen necklace and she knows something is up.

Nick and Paula prepare for court while Leanne mounts a charm offensive, inviting Audrey and Gail over for tea. On the way over, Audrey takes a funny turn. Not sure what it might be. David and Shona are making wedding plans despite David's impending court date.

Maria is looking for love in all the wrong places. She hits rock bottom at a hen night with Audrey and Gail (they sure get around) but then it seems that there may be sparks between her and Dr. Ali.

Sarah and Gary have a heated argument which ends by Sarah telling him to stay away.

Meanwhile, a few post-Rick problems have come up. First, Rick's daughter shows up looking for him. Second, customers keep contacting Gary because they're looking for the (deceased) Rick in order to borrow money.

Finally Gary decides it's easiest just to lend the punters money only with more reasonable payment terms than evil Rick. I guess he's basically becoming a bank. Barclays, watch out!

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Audrey to Nick:
"Don't rip the family apart. Don't be a two faced liar"
(... and don't go jogging without stretching first)

Nick explains the penile-shaped charm he bought for Leanne's charm bracelet:
"It's a lighthouse"
(you can see it from quite a distance) 

Leanne tells Nick to stop fussing about how she'll handle Audrey:
"I'm not trying to cop off with her"
(although that would be an unusual story line)

Steve blames Tracy for his sorry state on his birthday:
"Thanks for making me feel like the biggest waste of space in the world"
(Aw shucks, you did most of the work yourself)

Gail offers man advice to Sarah:
"A decent fella must be treated like a nice pair of heels"
(unless he's a serial killer or a con man)

Steve thinks he has a great idea for a business:
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build your own door"
(...and leave)

So, patient punters, we end another week. Don't know about you but I can't stand Geoff. I feel sorry for Tim having him as a Dad. Ah well. Thanks as always for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!

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