please note: this post makes reference to the March 7 episode on CBC
So everyone is upset with Rosie. Just because she shared intimate details about the Webster family with the local newspaper. Just because the lurid story has the headline 'KIDNAP MADE ME FEEL SEXY' (isn't that a Justin Timberlake song? - ed). Just because she posed for a photo in handcuffs.
Is that all?
(Er, no. She also gave out details about Sally's battle with cancer. She revealed to the world that her sister is a lesbian - ed).
Well, that's not so bad...
(Hang on. She also gave a nice summary of Kevin's affair and lots of information about the illegimiate offspring: Baby Jack. Plus the sordid details of her kidnapping ordeal which, according to the headline, made her feel sexy - ed).
Hmm. Well, okay, this is bad news and the Websters are understandably angry with Rosie. Me? Well I'm not that surprised that Rosie pulled a stunt like this to further her career. After all, she's done it before. As I recall she shared her kidnapping ordeal with the tabloids after John Stape kidnapped her the first time (it's like a Star Wars prequel with fewer death stars - ed). In fact, I even remember posting something at the time.
So while Rosie's recent media stunt may be embarrassing and foolish, it's hardly new. It's just tabloid history repeating itself.
(Oh, and by the way, why is Sian wearing gold DVDs on her ears instead of earrings? - just asking)
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Showing posts with label Rosie Webster. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rosie Webster. Show all posts
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
How to care for babies by Rosie Webster
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the October 18 episode on CBC
As you know, Rosie Webster is extremely busy these days building her modelling career and canoodling with Jason the builder. As you may recall, Rosie has already imparted her unique wisdom on topics including accumulator bets , how to wash a car and classical music. She's kindly taken time off from her grueling schedule to share her recently-acquired expertise about babies.
1. Okay. If you like need a sprog for photo shoot purposes or to look more like Posh Spice, there's no need to give birth (gross!). Just borrow a sprog from a neighbour or family member. I borrowed Dad's love child, Jack, for a photo shoot. What a brainwave!
2. Make sure that someone (not you) has fed and changed the baby. Rich babes like Posh Spice hire nannies to do this work. Once I have a successful modelling career, I will totally do the same. In fact, I'll probably hire someone to have my baby for me too since, let's face it, popping a sprong is seriously gross.
3. Changing a diaper is not that hard. I know it sounds gross but just think of a diaper as a really ugly thong especially if Jason buys the wrong kind and they are too small.
4. If the baby cries, try playing some techno music or Kylie Minogue. It won't stop the baby from crying but you'll love the cool tunes.
5. Don't be afraid to give the baby a cool, temporary name like Brooklyn or Romeo or Cruz. Personally, I like the name 'Boston'. Sounds cool and American, much better than sad ol' 'Jack'. Say it with me: 'Boston Webster'. Brilliant!
6. If you leave the baby somewhere because you're like really busy or whatever, just call Alfie on your cellphone. Your agent is supposed to help you with things like this. But don't worry. We found Boston, I mean Jack. If I'd lost my phone, now that would be a real emergency!
As you know, Rosie Webster is extremely busy these days building her modelling career and canoodling with Jason the builder. As you may recall, Rosie has already imparted her unique wisdom on topics including accumulator bets , how to wash a car and classical music. She's kindly taken time off from her grueling schedule to share her recently-acquired expertise about babies.
1. Okay. If you like need a sprog for photo shoot purposes or to look more like Posh Spice, there's no need to give birth (gross!). Just borrow a sprog from a neighbour or family member. I borrowed Dad's love child, Jack, for a photo shoot. What a brainwave!
2. Make sure that someone (not you) has fed and changed the baby. Rich babes like Posh Spice hire nannies to do this work. Once I have a successful modelling career, I will totally do the same. In fact, I'll probably hire someone to have my baby for me too since, let's face it, popping a sprong is seriously gross.
3. Changing a diaper is not that hard. I know it sounds gross but just think of a diaper as a really ugly thong especially if Jason buys the wrong kind and they are too small.
4. If the baby cries, try playing some techno music or Kylie Minogue. It won't stop the baby from crying but you'll love the cool tunes.
5. Don't be afraid to give the baby a cool, temporary name like Brooklyn or Romeo or Cruz. Personally, I like the name 'Boston'. Sounds cool and American, much better than sad ol' 'Jack'. Say it with me: 'Boston Webster'. Brilliant!
6. If you leave the baby somewhere because you're like really busy or whatever, just call Alfie on your cellphone. Your agent is supposed to help you with things like this. But don't worry. We found Boston, I mean Jack. If I'd lost my phone, now that would be a real emergency!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Jason Grimshaw & Rosie Webster x-rated
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the August 10 episode on CBC
I don't know about you but I feel that the past two episodes of Coronation Street should have come with a parental advisory (you mean like: 'Parents, don't let your children be like David Platt' ? - ed). By my calculations, Rosie Webster and Jason Grimshaw have spent more time this week with their clothes off, than with their clothes on.
Scenes with this 'bod couple' have featured Rosie in something that resembles a push-up bra more than anything else and Jason constantly removing his shirt like some kind of x-rated contractor or an escapee from Chippendales.
The strip tease begins in the Webster's kitchen (which hasn't seen this kind of action since Kevin slipped on a bacon butty in 1978) as Jason takes off his shirt while working. I can already sense the sexual tension building. Next thing you know Jason is driving Rosie to a last-minute underwear photo shoot. ("It's a modelling emergency!" says Rosie). Then, before you can say 'Joe Boxer', Jason is up there posing with Ms. Webster, both of them with hardly a stitch on.
When the two underwear models return to Chez Webster, it doesn't take long before they start madly grabbing at each other and knocking over Sally's Ikea bookshelf (that took Kevin a week to assemble! - ed) and rolling off the couch onto the floor (OMG, Sally just vacuumed the carpet! - ed)
Now I'm no prude. I've seen my fair share of lascivious sex scenes and, yes I'm well aware of movies like 'Saving Ryan's Privates' and 'Lord of the G-Strings'. But let's just try to keep it tasteful and tone it down a bit. After all, two thongs don't make it right. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with a cold shower...
I don't know about you but I feel that the past two episodes of Coronation Street should have come with a parental advisory (you mean like: 'Parents, don't let your children be like David Platt' ? - ed). By my calculations, Rosie Webster and Jason Grimshaw have spent more time this week with their clothes off, than with their clothes on.
Scenes with this 'bod couple' have featured Rosie in something that resembles a push-up bra more than anything else and Jason constantly removing his shirt like some kind of x-rated contractor or an escapee from Chippendales.
The strip tease begins in the Webster's kitchen (which hasn't seen this kind of action since Kevin slipped on a bacon butty in 1978) as Jason takes off his shirt while working. I can already sense the sexual tension building. Next thing you know Jason is driving Rosie to a last-minute underwear photo shoot. ("It's a modelling emergency!" says Rosie). Then, before you can say 'Joe Boxer', Jason is up there posing with Ms. Webster, both of them with hardly a stitch on.
When the two underwear models return to Chez Webster, it doesn't take long before they start madly grabbing at each other and knocking over Sally's Ikea bookshelf (that took Kevin a week to assemble! - ed) and rolling off the couch onto the floor (OMG, Sally just vacuumed the carpet! - ed)
Now I'm no prude. I've seen my fair share of lascivious sex scenes and, yes I'm well aware of movies like 'Saving Ryan's Privates' and 'Lord of the G-Strings'. But let's just try to keep it tasteful and tone it down a bit. After all, two thongs don't make it right. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with a cold shower...
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Rosie Webster's hot home reno tips
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the August 8 episode on CBC
Today on Blanche's Polish Hip we're talking about home renovation and home improvement projects. To help us, we asked Rosie Webster to answer your questions about finding a reputable contractor at a reasonable price. As you may recall, Rosie has already imparted her unique wisdom on topics including accumulator bets, how to wash a car and classical music. She's kindly taken time off from her grueling schedule of sausage cooking and modelling poses to pass along her expertise:
Q: I'm thinking of renovating my bathroom and am currently looking for a contractor. Any suggestions?
A: Okay, so if it's a bathroom reno that can be like really, really expensive. Better wear something extra sexy in order to get the pervy ol' contractor to give you a good price. I suggest a bikini and towel although I suppose you could get away with a tube top and hot pants -- as long as you walk in a really sexy way when you're showing the poor saddo around the bathroom. Expect a 35 to 50% reduction.
Q: We would like to renovate our full basement and turn it into a self-contained apartment which we could then rent out. What do you suggest?
A: Hmm. That sounds expensive. Better wear tight black leather pants which show off your Pippa-like butt when you meet the contractor. A halter-top is also a good idea as the basement lighting will highlight your cleavage and encourage the saddo, pervy contractor to give you a 40% reduction in price
Q: We're thinking of buying a water efficient toilet? Any thoughts?
A: Ooh. OMG! That's so gross! Next question.
Q: How do you know if you've got a reliable and dependable contractor?
A: Duh. If he's leering at your body when he comes round, then he'll obviously do a brilliant job because you'll have him wrapped around your finger. Just make it clear that you will not let him "get some" afterwards. That's disgusting. Also, make sure he finishes the job before your parents get back from vacation.
Today on Blanche's Polish Hip we're talking about home renovation and home improvement projects. To help us, we asked Rosie Webster to answer your questions about finding a reputable contractor at a reasonable price. As you may recall, Rosie has already imparted her unique wisdom on topics including accumulator bets, how to wash a car and classical music. She's kindly taken time off from her grueling schedule of sausage cooking and modelling poses to pass along her expertise:
Q: I'm thinking of renovating my bathroom and am currently looking for a contractor. Any suggestions?
A: Okay, so if it's a bathroom reno that can be like really, really expensive. Better wear something extra sexy in order to get the pervy ol' contractor to give you a good price. I suggest a bikini and towel although I suppose you could get away with a tube top and hot pants -- as long as you walk in a really sexy way when you're showing the poor saddo around the bathroom. Expect a 35 to 50% reduction.
Q: We would like to renovate our full basement and turn it into a self-contained apartment which we could then rent out. What do you suggest?
A: Hmm. That sounds expensive. Better wear tight black leather pants which show off your Pippa-like butt when you meet the contractor. A halter-top is also a good idea as the basement lighting will highlight your cleavage and encourage the saddo, pervy contractor to give you a 40% reduction in price
Q: We're thinking of buying a water efficient toilet? Any thoughts?
A: Ooh. OMG! That's so gross! Next question.
Q: How do you know if you've got a reliable and dependable contractor?
A: Duh. If he's leering at your body when he comes round, then he'll obviously do a brilliant job because you'll have him wrapped around your finger. Just make it clear that you will not let him "get some" afterwards. That's disgusting. Also, make sure he finishes the job before your parents get back from vacation.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Rosie Webster explains an accumulator bet
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the May 31 episode on CBC
It seems that ol' Lewis has struck it rich by making a shrewd accumulator bet on the horses (and seducing Deirdre Barlow with a tantalizing lip lock). Now poor Leanne has to cough up £4,000 to the charming con artist. But what exactly is an accumulator bet? Here to help us with her third in a series of edukational articles is Rosie Webster. As you may recall, Rosie has already imparted her unique wisdom on topics ranging from how to wash a car to classical music. She's kindly taken time off from her gruelling schedule of vodka shots and thong shopping to share her expertise with us:
What's an accumulator bet?
Duh! An accumulator or parlay bet is a single bet which is linked on a number of other wagers, and the outcome is dependent on all the wagers winning. I don't know what all those boring words mean but Sophie and Sian found it on the Internet (what is it with those two anyway?)..
What's the big attraction?
Duh, again! Obviously, losers (with a capital 'L') can go to that grotty bookie shop and bet like a quid or something with the hopes of striking it rich (like I did when that perv Stape gave me all that money for being kidnapped). However like it's really, really hard to win. The chances of winning are about as good as me wearing a pantsuit. Boring!
How does it work?
Look, I can't stop here all day answering questions. I have to get dressed (well, undressed really) for work. But it's like a series of really, really unlikely events happening. Like, say for example, that you bet on me going out with that lowlife Graeme Proctor. That's really unlikely right? Well, now multiply something like that by five times, and if by some freaky chance you're right, you'd like win a million pounds or something.
Any last words?
Whatever! I am so out of here.
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