Thursday, August 6, 2009

criminal cornucopia

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the August 5 episode on CBC

There are so many characters engaged in unlawful or unethical activities these days, I'm beginning to think there's something in the Corrie water (cadmium, lead, mercury... probably everything except water - ed). The way things are going, I almost need some kind of guide or rating system to keep track of who's doing what to whom - something like the Moody's or Standard & Poor's credit rating system. Let's take this approach to the current cast of villains and miscreants roaming the Street.

Miscreant: Tony Gordon
Evil Rating: AAA
Reason: nasty piece of work. No remorse. no conscience. Pays others to do his dirty work. Never met a wallet he didn't like. Look out, Carla.

Miscreant: John Stape
Evil Rating: A (could be upgraded)
Reason: Devious little toad. Trying to worm his way back into Fiz's life. Keeping a Webster (not a cat) in his gran's house. Cat would be less trouble (but I digress). Not a nice thing to do. Rating could be upgraded pending more info.

Miscreant: Leanne Battersby
Evil rating: BBB-
Reason: Where do I start? Fraud, prostitution, conspiracy to commit arson, theft (and that's just page one of the rap sheet). Could be upgraded but, so far, lacks pure evil motive and psycho rationale of higher-rated miscreants.

Miscreant: Janice Battersby
Evil rating: B
Reason: She's got a big gob and made some dumb mistakes (i.e. stealing loto winnings) but she's no evil genius. Hasn't got the bottle for serious evil (a big disappointment to her daughter - see above).

Miscreant: Schmeichel
Evil Rating: CC
Reason: Unruly behaviour. According to Norris, "that dog pinned me against the kebab shop window the other day." (Who's a good little doggie? Yes you are. yes you are!)


  1. rosie(notwebster)August 6, 2009 at 3:14 PM

    I just love your clever comments Corrie Heart; please keep up the good work!!

  2. Hi corrie heart, Ditto above comment. You always make me laugh. Mary Kinkora