John and Fiz have shared that most intimate of moments between man and woman. Now, in the beautiful afterglow, John has no choice but to reveal an ugly secret to his beloved. He has concealed this terrible truth for several long days and nights and now he must choose exactly the right words to explain what has happened and what he has done in such a way that Fiz will somehow understand. What on earth will he say?
"Fiz, darling, I have something to tell you. Something very important, a secret that I have been keeping and it's tearing me apart because you should know and you deserve to know because that's how much I love you..
"No darling Fiz, don't talk, don't say a word. Just lie there like the vision of loveliness that you are with that sexy terrycloth towel still wrapped around your head and your extra-comfortable white Marks & Spencer jammies. Just let me talk and don't try to stop me.
"You see, dearest Fiz, I have not been rushing off to feed Gran's cat every day. Gran's cat ran away the day after I started hanging around Gran's house (must be a coincidence). But, I have been making regular visits to feed a living creature. that much is true. Only, the thing is (and I know you'll undertand dear Fiz because you are a caring person), I have been going over to Gran's house to feed Rosie Webster because I'm keeping her locked up in the attic.
"I know, I know. But believe me Fiz, it sounds worse than it is. And I have been through hell over the past few days. Do you know that she won't even try to read 'Catcher in the Rye' or 'Tess of the D'Urbervilles" ? It's horrible. It's like she has no interest in Salinger's sense of post-modern alienation or Hardy's 19th century naturalism.
"And she's so selfish! I mean, how many bags of hobnobs does one person need? You're not like that Fiz. You would share your hobnobs. (No Fiz, I'm not suggesting anything by that). I just want to share my life with you. Kidnapping Rosie Webster has only made me love you more, dearest Fiz. Don't let this felony or the long list of subsequent criminal charges come between us. Remember what you said downstairs when you told me to put the can down. You said 'Life's too short'. What do you say Fiz, my love?"
Shots from the hip... well that's it for the week. Thanks very much for the nice comments, you're too kind. It's been a great week of Corrie and I hope you enjoy tonight's episode as well as the weekend omnibus edition. I'll be back next Tuesday with more from the hip. Thanks for visiting and cheers to all.