SHS (serious hunk shortage)

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the August 10 episode on CBC

Memo to: Corrie powers that be
From: Corrie Heart
Re: SHS

It has come to my attention (after speaking with several discerning female viewers), that there is an issue developing on Coronation Street which requires immediate action. (the mess in Darryl's shed? - ed).

The issue is the Serious Hunk Shortage (SHS) following the sad exit of the tall, broody, dark, handsome (that's enough - ed) Liam Connor (May he rest in peace - or in a future BBC mini-series). The fact is that Corrie is running dangerously low on good-looking men (aka eye-candy). First, there was the loss of Harry Mason (the mature betting woman's crumpet) and now Liam. Tony Gordon, whom some find appealing despite (or because of) his Scottish-psycho charm, is assuredly out of the running as a hunk in good standing as he continues to wreak evil.

Who does that leave?

Let's do a brief male-call.

Steve Macdonald - goofy looks, endearing charm and bad haircut. Good lad but hardly in the same leagues as our Liam.

Lloyd Mullaney - cuddly, cute and well meaning but no Daniel Craig - unless Daniel Craig has started eating large quantities of kebabs.

Dev Allahan - used to be a smooth talking, ladies' man in his heyday. Now he's more or less retired to the confines of his corner shop even though he is currently dating a mother-daughter combo (maybe he's still got it).

Kevin Webster - some women may like his 'Fight Club' earthiness but I don't hear much swooning.

Tyrone Dobbs - Corrie's answer to Wayne Rooney has a heart of gold but Maria didn't spend months trying to make him over for nothing. (See also: chest hair waxing).

Kirk Sutherland - Movie star good looks... if the movie is 'Deliverance' (according to Janice Battersby).

I think this cursory glance at the Corrie males proves conclusively that there is indeed a SHS on the street and I look forward to remedial action in the near future (i.e before Rosie runs out of pasta salad).

Yours Sincerely,

etc etc.