Tony's Therapy

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the January 11 episode on CBC

Let's see: his name is Tony, he's a villain and he's having panic or anxiety attacks (not to mention a legover with the fair Natasha, grrr - ed). Tony Soprano? No, Tony Gordon, but you'd be forgiven for spotting the similarities. Moreover, I'm thinking that, like Mr. Soprano, Tony Gordon may need to visit a shrink (you mean cognitive therapist? - ed) to help him deal with his panic attacks. If Tony does visit a registered psychotherapist (on the NHS? - ed), I think it might go something like this:

Therapist: Mr. Gordon, how can I help you?

TG: Well, doctor, I seem to be having these panic attacks. You know blurred vision, tightness in the chest, difficulty breathing and so on.

Therapist: I see. And why do you think you're having these attacks?

TG: Well, I don't know.

Therapist: Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself.

TG: Not much to tell really. I'm from the Glaswegian region. Born with a silver sporron in my mouth. Entrepreneur. Self made man. Aim to retire with bags o' cash. Like a wee dram now and then. Married, but my wife left me recently and I had a legover with a fit hairdresser yesterday and cried.

Therapist: Anything else?

TG: Not really. I did arrange to have my wife's lover killed. Tried to strangle an old man with substandard lingerie. Got rid of some endangered bats from a building site. Forged cheques. Tried to sabotage Kevin Webster's garage and hired a private detective to get some dirt on my new business partner. You know, the usual stuff.

Therapist: And how do you feel about that?

TG: Pretty guid, except about the bats. That was wrong.

Therapist: I see. Well I'm afraid we're going to have to stop there. we're out of time. We'll continue next week...