the horror

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 1 episode on CBC

My delicate sensibilities are being pummeled by some of what's happening on the Street. I don't know where to start. Let's count it down from the least horrific to the most horrific items which have been bombarding my senses lately:

Number 4: Claire trying to convince Ashley to have sex (no, please stop, I've heard enough - ed). Claire thinks that Ashley had a vasectomy and so is ready for a round of 'safe sex'. Little does she know that Ash did a 'cut and run' (minus the cut - ed) and backed out of the operation and is still a... um... 'force' to be reckoned with. Frankly the sight of Claire making goo goo eyes is enough to make me swear off sex for ever (superfluous in your case - ed)

Number 3: Hayley and Anna singing 'Matrimony' at Becky's hen party. Yikes! I haven't been this horrified since my brother-in-law did an ABBA medley in drag.

Number 2: Liz McDonald's 'coming home' ensemble. Somewhere there's a 'Cirque du Soleil' act missing an outfit (and they're probably glad - ed). Don't get me wrong. I love Liz but, holy moly, I haven't seen anything that outrageous since her wedding to Vernon.

Number 1: Without a doubt the most horrific sight is Tony Gordon and Maria Sutherland canoodling like two lovesick birds - or, to put it more accurately, two sicko lovebirds. It's starting to make me nauseous. I have to look away every time they start pawing each other. Speaking of pawing, poor Ozzy! He has to watch all this. It's enough to put someone off their kibble.