spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 2 episode on CBC
Yes, we all shed a tear yesterday when the fair Becky (that was Becky under the headgear, right? - ed) got married to Steve, but the ceremony itself was a little impersonal. I'm wondering what it would have been like if the bride and groom had written their own special vows for the occasion. I think it might have gone something like this...
Registrar: At this time, I'd like to call upon Steven and Rebeca to recite the vows that each has written for this special occasion. Rebeca?
Becky: Right well, I'm not an expert or anything but here goes. Steve, you are my kind of guy and we had a right fabbo time, during our funnymoon. Remember loverboy? Okay, so last time we did this, I was so legless I didn't make it here but I'm sober now, well almost. So that proves I'm your gal and I'm serious about this marriage thing. I'm a winner. babe. I love Royston and Hales but mostly you, loverman. And, (provided this registrar - whatever that is - is for real and not some wacko from a looney bin), I'll say this:
I'll marry you now
though I can be a right stroppy cow
I'll take that wedding vow
Registrar: er thank you Rebeca. Steven?
Steve: What? Oh, yeah, right. Well, I haven't had much time and, well, you know what I'm like with words and pens. Anyhow, I jotted something down while I was on the switch yesterday at Streetcars. It's a bit like one of them um... what'ya call it... poems. So here goes:
Becky, I love the bones off ya.
And I know you love me too.
If you say "Michelle"
I will say: "Michelle who?"
You're a right fit bird.
Or so I have heard
Yeah, I know that Slug's been hanging around.
But he just wants to drag you down
So let's get spliced
Cause I think it will be nice
Registrar: Um thank you. You may now kiss the bride.