Readers, I'm in shock. It's something I never thought I'd see in the ICU of Weatherfield General Hospital: a bacon butty with brown sauce. Oh the humanity! As you no doubt know, 'Tony Gordon, It's Friday' or TGIF, is the regular award-winning feature which offers a round-up of some memorable lines of the week. This week's TGIF is particularly poignant given Tony's medical 'situation' so let's get on with it. Allez:
Michelle wants total privacy in order to enjoy the finer things in life:
"I’m having a bath and playing Fleetwood Mac."
(don't forget your towel)
Kirk asks Tony about the possibility of employment at the factory:
"What’s your policy on employing family members?"
(Ozzie: Yes, Kirk: No)
Tony makes a confession to Maria:
"Sometimes when you're asleep I sneak downstairs and snuggle up with Ozzie"
(For God's sake man! What's next? Spooning with Kirk?)
Graeme offers Ashley reassuring words about the doctors doing the vasectomy:
They've sliced through more spaghetti than Pavarotti. What could possibly go wrong?
(hey, ever heard of al dente?)
Josh is asking questions about Ashley's impending operation:
"Is Daddy getting a haircut?"
(well, a haircut of sorts is certainly involved)
Kelly Crabtree thinks Michelle's suitor is a bit of alright:
"He could shin up my drainpipe any day"
(...assuming there isn't a line-up)
Liz sort-of warns Michelle's admirer not to bare all:
"If you drop that towel, I will phone police. Not immediately but very soon after. "
(she'll need time to assess the situation carefully)
Roy offers Tony some words of comfort in his time of need:
"Well, current studies show that hydrogenated vegetable fat is actually more dangerous than saturated animal fats"
(Could you put that on Tony's headstone?)
Tony is aware that his past sins will determine his fate after death:
"I’m on a one way ticket to hell"
(at least you'll get a ton of frequent flyer points)
***Well, that's it for another week. Thank you kindly for your comments and it's true that in mentioning Kevin's tow truck I neglected to point out that it was not only a big honkin' tow truck, but in fact a big honkin' orange tow truck. Thanks to an astute reader for that. I hope you all have a great weekend and I'' meet you back here next week. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to sling my hook and get on me bike.