Thursday, November 25, 2010

Senior cat fight ?

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the Nov 24th episode on CBC

91 year-old returns to Rovers to challenge 90 year-old's record
Corrie Heart, special alcohol correspondent, Weatherfield Gazette

Rovers Return - A joyous celebration of Manchester's oldest barmaid almost erupted into a nasty cat fight yesterday as a 91 year-old interloper interrupted birthday festivities at the Rovers Return pub to stake her claim to the prestigious drink-serving title.

Nursing a milk stout for a record 2 hours and 15 minutes, a veteran barmaid from the Parsons Arms, known only as 'Enid', claimed the title of oldest barmaid and produced her birth certificate to prove the point. The stunning revelation came in the midst of birthday celebrations for Betty Turpin (not Liz Macdonald as previously reported), celebrating her 90th birthday and generally believed to be the oldest barmaid in the Greater Manchester region.

"I’m 91, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.," asserted Enid to the surprised throng of well-wishers assembled at the legendary, back street drinking establishment. When the claim was refuted by Ms. Turpin, Enid added,  "The last person who spoke to me like that got a slap for her trouble. And you're going the same way."

"Lay one finger on me and I won’t be responsible for my actions," replied Ms. Turpin. The two veteran barmaids, whose total age adds up to a whopping 181 years of lager-serving service to punters, almost came to blows as the dispute escalated and threatened to develop into yet another Rovers' cat fight.

The two were separated by onlookers but not before Enid sampled the pub's signature dish, Betty's Hotpot, which she pronounced to be infested with "elbow-sized" gristle.

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