Tony Gordon, It's Friday - Audrey Robert's edition

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the Jan 27 episode on CBC

Well, fellow Corriephiles, the fur is really flying this week (fake fur, no doubt -ed) as Rita and Audrey go toe-to-toe, shemano-a-shemano in the escalating war over smooth-talking, senior, pay-as-you-go gigolo Lewis Archer. This week's TGIF pays tribute to the warring women as we search for the most memorable lines of the week and display them for your reading pleasure. Let's go:

Audrey dismisses Emily's offer to play mediator in her row with Rita:
"I’m not declaring war on Poland love"
 (yeah, that was someone else. Can't remember the name but I think it began with an 'H')


Audrey again, chiding Rita for intimating that she married Alf for his dosh:
"God forgive you making allegations like that when you've got the morals of an alley cat yourself"
(hey, that's Ms. Alley Cat to you)


Rita tells Audrey her apology isn't much of an apology:
"You know if somebody gave you an olive branch, you'd poke 'em in the eye with it".
(especially if it was an extra virgin olive branch)


Rita tells Audrey that she's behaving foolishly:
"Better than to fall in love with a gigolo. Next thing you're slapping and scrapping like a fishwife"
(That's Ms. Fishwife to you)


Rita summarizes her feelings:
"Audrey Roberts has always been a cow"
(...and Rita's lactose intolerant)


Norris tries to compliment Rita:
"look at you Rita: You're a glamourpuss, a siren, albeit in your seventies"
(geez, whatever Lewis charges... it's worth it)


Audrey describes Lewis to Gail:
"Well, he's in the hospitality industry and very good at what he does"
(yes, and he has dozens of satisfied customer to prove it)


Leanne is in the Rovers telling Janice about her concerns over Peter's fidelity:
"He's always had the hots for that over-made up skank"
(I'm afraid you're going to have to narrow it down a bit)


 Leanne again telling Janice about Peter's vices:
"There's only two things that Peter's addicted to: booze and birds"
(You forgot bigamy)

***

Well, ladies and gentlemen, that's it for the week. Have a great weekend and enjoy the Sunday omnibus episodes. Many thanks for stopping by and visiting the Hip. It's always a pleasure. See you next week as Leanne & Peter ponder their future and Norris prepares for a trip to the moors with Mary. Cheers!