Thursday, August 4, 2011

The dating woes of Julie Carp Coronation Street

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the August 3 episode on CBC

For a while it looked like a made in heaven (made by Neil Diamond surely? - ed) but alas a hot date at the posh Far Fusion restaurant degenerates into Near Confusion™ for poor Julie Carp.

Damn! And all the signs looked so positive. Their eyes met over a bottle of Heinz Ketchup when Julie dropped her groceries and gallant Brian stopped to help. As they both reached for a 'Best of Neil Diamond CD' (contradiction in terms surely? - ed), there was a spark (a Streetcars taxi backfiring? - ed).  Love was in the air (as well as kebabs - ed) and it was only a matter of time before they were sharing a libation in the Rovers and then a romantic dinner for two (make that four when Stape and Fiz horned in and then three when Mrs. Brian rudely interrupted the little tete a tete and threw froid water all over the creme caramel). So much for 'pud pud' as Julie cutely call it. Turns out Brian was a 'cad cad' with a 'wife wife'.

Call it another bad break for Julie, an ardent heterosexualist (her term, I believe) with natural womanly needs and raging hormonal desires (quick Ciaran, take cover - ed).

First there was Kirk, a sort of starter boyfriend, a fixer-upper with no mod cons (that's enough of the housing metaphors - ed). Kirk was just a holiday romance and couldn't last. They were just unsuited in terms of intellect (i.e. she had one - ed).

Then came Jesse Chadwick, the children's entertainer, parrot lover and boyfriend of Eileen. Julie and Jesse hit it off the moment she donned the Hiyalowa costume and he pulled out his pistols (that's enough of that. This is a family blog - ed). But alas, it was not meant to be either.

And now comes Brian, the latest in a string of disappointments. Poor Julie. She came so close to having the educator of her dreams until she learned the truth about his wife. Call it a 'teachable moment'...

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