Dear Mr. Webster,
Thank you for entrusting your DNA testing needs to the team at Sproglogic Inc (a division of Double Double Helix technologies). We trust that the results, as well as the service, was satisfactory. Our records indicate that you are currently in a paternity situation with two adolescent females at your residence in Coronation Street. Should you ever wish to pursue genetic testing with regards to either child, please do not hesitate to contact us.
Well, what do you want? It's Friday. The suspense continues but 'Tony Gordon, It's Friday' is as regular as a tea break at Underworld (every five minutes? - ed). Let's take a look at some of the memorable lines of the week in this edition of TGIF. Action!
Dimitri has some pearls of wisdom as he leaves for Cypress with Kylie - and Max is left behind:
"Goodbye. Sleep well"
(he has a way with words, doesn't he?)
Liz says she's glad Michelle is quitting:
"It'll be a such a relief not to have you showing everything you've got"
(a relief for whom? not the punters)
... and Michelle gives Liz a piece of her mind:
"Most punters come in here, look at you and think you're a tart"
(and the downside is...?)
Michelle comments on Janice's knickers:
"I've heard you've never taken yours off. Still no demand, no supply"
(sounds like Keynesian economics - if Keynes wore ladies' underwear)
Betty is shocked to hear about the menu at the new wine bar
"How can you make a mini tapas hotpot?"
(just start with a tiny piece of gristle and work from there...)
Tyrone has a serious question for Kevin:
"Has baby Jack got my eyebrows or Molly's?"
(let me check my courier package and get back to you)
Sally tells Rosie that parties don't have to be wild and out of control:
"It is possible to have fun without getting absolutely legless"
(Just ask Norris Cole and Emily Bishop on crossword night)
Mr Cummings from Weatherfield council environmental services has bad news for Nick's new wine bar:
"There's been a report of vermin on your premises"
(you might also find a few rats in there...)
Well, that's it for another eventful week. Thanks very much for dropping by and for sharing your comments. Have a great weekend and enjoy the Sunday omnibus. I'll see you right back here next week for a virtual cuppa and a lemon slice. Till then, I better get on me bike. Cheers!