spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the Sept 12 episode on CBC
When you've got the Barlow fever, there's only one cure (more cowbell? - ed).
Don't take my word for it. Just ask that nice cultured lady on the barge, what was her name? Oh yes, Martha. She had a hankering for a Barlow that just wouldn't quit. She had it bad. Real bad. Her addiction could only be cured by one thing (more cowbell? -ed ). A regular mainline dose of Ken Barlow, the good stuff: full of editorials from the Guardian and BBC documentaries about the history of sewage. Martha got hooked on Ken and look what happened. (Not much as I recall - ed) He left her floating by herself all the way to the Norfolk Broads (nice ladies I hear - ed).
Now here's Carla, similarly afflicted by the Barlow fever -- only this time it's worse. (She has to read Ken's novel? - ed). Carlissima, the man eater, is addicted to Peter Barlow. She's got it bad (and I'm assuming that ain't good - ed) and she'll do anything to have her way with him.
Mind you, it's not the first time Peter's irresistible submariner musk has bewitched the ladies. Poor Shelley (the barmaid) and Lucy (the florist) were smitten by Peter's eau de nicotine and seductive tattoos (how many anchors can you etch on one man? - ed). Peter's manly solution? Bigamy with a capital 'B'.
This time Peter is showing admirable restraint, fending off Carla's persistent advances (and her towel - ed). But you know and I know that it's only a matter of time before Carla makes like a Mountie (you mean does a musical ride? - ed) and gets her man. Because once you've got the Barlow fever, there's only one cure.