Sunday, November 20, 2011

Jim McDonald's top 10 tips for bank robbing

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the November 18 episode on CBC

10. Have a wee, quiet word with your old cellmate from the big house to reminisce about old times, have a laugh -- and acquire a firearm.

9. Catch yourself up. Stop in at the local boozer for a wee dram on your ways to steal cash to buy the local boozer.

8. Remember to tell Kevin Webster to screw off  - or beat him up. Your choice so it is.

7. Get yourself a nice cloth cap so everyone will know you're Irish and you'll look good on the CCTV.

6. Wait outside the bank until all the moms, kiddies, seniors, people with disabilities, family, friends and Irish people have finished their banking and left the premises, so they have.

5. Wait in line until a teller becomes available (don't be jumping the queue just because you're in a hurry to rob the bank).

4. Put your wee gun on the counter and ask for 120,000 pounds. Be sure to state your preference of bills (100s, 10s or change).

3. Don't be getting your bank book updated. You need to be getting back to the boozer with the cash so Elizabeth can buy the Rovers, so she can.

2. Exit the bank quickly, stopping only briefly to beat someone up, and meet the coppers outside. (Remember to show them your Frequent Felon card). 

1. Go directly to jail. Well, it was great while it lasted so it was.

No comments:

Post a Comment