Sunday, February 19, 2012

Coronation Street Heart Healthy Guide

no spoilers were used in the preparation of this post

So poor old Bill Webster has suffered a heart attack. Oh, don't worry, he's okay and resting comfortably in the Coronation Street Wing of the Weatherfield General Hospital. Now he needs to recover and change his lifestyle (you mean no more legovers? -ed). Fortunately Auntie Pam is there to keep him on the straight and narrow. And they probably have helpful brochures at the hospital, perhaps even something like this...

So, you've had a heart 'episode' on Coronation Street...
a handy question-and-answer guide to your speedy recovery.

What should I eat? 
Things called "fruit" (any product of plant growth useful to humans or animals) and "vegetables" (any plant whose fruit, seeds, roots, tubers, bulbs, stems, leaves, or flower parts are used as food). You know, like those small round edible things which Rosie brought to the hospital: grapes. You will find useful photos of "fruits" and "vegetables" at the back of this brochure to help you identify these items on your next visit to Freshcos.
Can I still have a full English at the caf?
Of course! Just ask Roy to make a few minor modifications (no sausage, no bacon, no fried bread, no eggs, no black pudding, no fried potatoes, no butter, tomato should be served raw, not fried).

What about the chippie or the kebab place?
Same rules apply. Just remember to make heart healthy choices. At the kebab shop, ask for the vegetarian option (lettuce on whole wheat pita) and ask for the healthy choice at the chippie (half a pickled onion with brine on the side). However, home cooking is the best option.

You mean like Betty's hotpot in the Rovers?
Well, hotpots may or may not contain meat and trace amounts of vegetable but moderation is the key. Remember that you must limit your gristle intake to one serving a day.

Where can I get a salad?
Not on Coronation Street! Try foraging on the Red Rec for dandelion leaves. Or ask Auntie Pam to make one (after she's finished yelling at Kevin) with a whole wheat sarnie on the side.

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