Okay, it seems that I was wrong when I said Kevin Webster's plan to get his legs under the table at the Family Estate (aka Dumpton Abbey - ed) was working. As you saw last night, Auntie Pam is back and she's in fighting form. Before you can say "piece of my mind", Pam has confronted Sally and Sally then sees the light. Kev will have to go. Not only that, but news of Bill & Pam's upcoming nuptials (I believe they're registered at Marks & Spencer - ed) have been sullied by Pam's decision not to invite Kevin.
Elsewhere it's all Carla, Peter and Leanne or as I prefer to call them: Two and a Half Alcoholics™ Which brings me to this week's edition of Tony Gordon It's Friday, TGIF, the award-eligible feature which critics and fans alike tolerate (get on with it! -ed):
Peter explains why he clocked Frank Foster:
"I decided to hand out some justice"
(Who do you think you are? Batman? SuperBookie?)
Dev extols the benefits of his posh golf club to Sunita:
"They allow women into the club house"
(but I assume kids in top hats are still cleaning the chimneys)
Steve agrees with Dev about Aadi's golf prowess:
"You need to exploit this while you can"
(read more of Steve McDonald's parenting tips in "What kids can do for YOU" published by Plank & Son Books)
Sally resolves to tell Kevin to leave:
"As soon as his shoulder gets better, he's getting the elbow"
(..and the finger, I'll wager)
Leanne lets loose a tirade against Carla:
"You're a waste of skin"
(I wouldn't say that although she has had a skin full)
Sylvia notices Anna's happy demeanour after a night with Owen:
"You're a right giddy kipper today"
(by the way, that's also the lunch special: Giddy Kipper with chips)
Sally realizes that she's been a mug and tells Kevin:
"Now I'm playing mother to your love child"
(and she's not talking about the Diana Ross song either)
Sally asks Hailey a candid question:
"On a scale of one to ten, how stupid do you think I've been?"
(I think she'll need a bigger scale)
Bill tells Kevin he's drawing the line when it comes to Pam:
"I'm not having her tell me what to do, not before we're married."
(yeah, at least wait until the reception)
Well, fellow addicts, that's another week of intrigue, crime and passion on the Street. Frank Foster is in the Coronation Street memorial holding cell at the local nick. Kevin is at loggerheads with Sally, Pam and Tyrone. Anna and Owen are a couple. Carla is resting comfortably in the Coronation Street Wing of the Weatherfield Hospital in the bed recently vacated by Stella (they barely had time to change the sheets). Have a great weekend, enjoy the omnibus and remember the Corrie motto: e pluribus skiver! (or skivorum if it's the genitive case).