Steve McDonald: what is wrong with you?

please note: this post makes reference to the Feb 8 episode on CBC

Where do I begin? Steve McDonald, what are you thinking? You think you and Tracy can play happy families with Amy and Baby X? Are you out of your mind? Just how gullible are you? You leave me no option but to offer a mini-collection of barbs and jokes at your expense. I didn't want to do this but you leave me no choice so here we go: 

Q: What's the difference between Steve McDonald and an old watch?
A:  Steve is easier to wind up 

Q: What do you call it when you take Steve for a stroll?
A: Walking the 'plank' 

Q: What's the difference between Steve and Kirk?
A: Kirk had the good sense not to have sex with Tracy.  

Q: What do Steve and Kirk have in common?
A: They both seem to be in a relationship with a dummy. In Kirk's case, the dummy is in the back of the Underworld van. In Steve's case, the dummy owns the Rovers and Streetcars. 

Q: If Steve were a type of marine life, what would he be?
A: PLANKton (or maybe Pillock-ton if that exists)

Look, I love the big lug and it's true he would make a great dad. But let's put it his way, if he worked for Pratt & Whitney, well, he'd be the um 'prat'. (and I'm still waiting for Tracy to flash that surreptitious smirk™ which will tell us exactly what she's really up to).