Sunday, February 3, 2013

please switch off your mobile devices in church!

please note this post makes reference to the February 1 episode on CBC

Most Reverend Colin Johnson-Johnson
St Martins-in-the-Squalor Church
Weatherfield, Greater Manchester

Dear Parishioners of St Martins,

While we dearly embrace, through the grace of God, all the modern conveniences of our time, I feel I must advise a cautionary note regarding the ubiquitous nature of mobile devices. Heaven knows that I am not without sin in this matter. Many's the time my Samsung Galaxy has gone off at choir practice during a Latin religious choral work (BTW sorry Deacon, I am filled with motet regret).

While I enjoy imperious text messages from the archbishop as much as the next celebrant (LOL), I feel compelled to point out that mobile phones have no place in the church liturgy (No, not even in vibrate mode).

Recently we have had more than a few cases of iPhone iNterruptus (if you'll pardon the expression) during solemn ceremonies causing discord and, in one case, the revelation of an unpleasant  love triangle involving an individual known only as 'Fiz'. (In this case, I believe the cellular culprit was a Nokia 100, an affordable basic dual-band cell phone with 1.8" TFT display)

But I digress. The point is that cell phones, of any type, are disruptive in the church setting. Believe me, no-one wants their funeral or baptism interrupted by a Lady Gaga ringtone. (once again, guilty as charged!)

So, with that in mind, I would politely ask you to please switch off your android and apple mobile devices (and, yes even Blackberrys, if anyone still has one!) while attending services at St. Martins.

May God Bless,

etc etc.


  1. tee hee - sent this on to a vicar friend of mine. She is not a Corrie fan ( if you can believe it) but enjoyed this. I've told her she needs to move to Wetherfield if she wants to have more fun and excitement in her wedding ceremonies.

  2. Thanks for the comment and thanks for passing along the post. There is no doubt that Weatherfield has the best weddings (and funerals). No idea what the regular Sunday services are like... since no-one on the Street seems to attend (except Emily) .