Monday, April 15, 2013

The Rules of the One o'clock Club

no spoilers were used in the preparation of this post

Now that Sylvia has been introduced to the various er.. benefits.. of the One o'clock Club, I think it's time we delved into the secrets of this shadowy group of senior citizens. So let's take a look at the eight rules of the One o'clock Club.

1st RULE: You do NOT talk about the One o'Clock Club. (Oh wait a minute, that's Fight Club, not One o'Clock Club - sorry). By all means, do talk about the One o'Clock Club. After all that's one of the pensioners' best things: chatting.

2nd RULE: Check your lollipop signs and other school crossing guard paraphernalia at the door (applies mostly to Dennis & Stan).

3rd RULE: Music at the One O'clock Club is restricted to 'God Save the Queen' at the beginning of the meeting and Pink Floyd's 'Dark Side of the Moon' after Stan serves his brownies.

4th RULE: Only two guys to a fight. (Sorry, that's Fight Club again). Only two brownies to a senior.

5th RULE: No-one at the One O'clock Club was actually at Woodstock so please refrain from saying how "groovy" that "scene" was until the "man" put us down.

6th RULE: Never trust anyone over 30... and under 60.

7th RULE: There will be one 10-minute Cheetos and Chocolate Digestive break at Sylvia's discretion.

8th RULE: If this is your first time at the One O'Clock Club, you HAVE to fight. (yes that's Fight Club again, but for some reason the One O'Clock Club has the same rule).

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