Friday, August 9, 2013

Coronation Street TGIF: the skint bigamist alcoholic bookie edition

please note this post makes reference to the August 8 episode on CBC

A skint, bigamist, alcoholic bookie? You mean Peter's a bookie too? And what about the kerfuffle over at Nick's Bistro where His Nickness looks even more constipated than usual? Don't tell me someone's been putting alcohol in the water?  What's the world coming to? Let's just soldier on and keep our fingers crossed for Hayley.

Rob describes his new business venture:
"An independent second hand shop"
(think eBay only skankier and without the Internet)

Rob explains the economics behind his takeover of Peter's business premises:
"That's capitalism"
(He's like a sleazy, ex-con version of Keynes or Galbraith)

Peter explains his lack of business acumen to Carla:
"Richard Branson I ain't"
(Virgin can breathe easier)

Hayley pronounces her opinion of green tea:
"That is officially disgusting"
(yes but think of the antioxidants)

Peter wants to know why Carla finds him so irresistible:
"What was it that first attracted you to this skint, bigamist, alcoholic bookie?"
(mainly the alcohol I think)

Leanne tells David what's going on with Peter and Carla:
"Looks like the alkies are getting spliced"
(Must be Absolut love)

Peter realizes that it's a little odd for a bigamist to get married:
"The altar is not a place for irony"
(save that for the divorce)

Fiz consoles Roy about Beth's loud gob:
"She's got a mouth the size of the viaduct on her"
(without the aesthetic qualities)

Roy gets angry at Tracy:
"You have caused us nothing but stress"
(You got off easy. Think of poor Charlie Stubbs)

Mandy is getting tired of Lloyd's civil rights feud:
"You're a cabbie, not Malcolm X"
(although, to be fair, some cabbies are judged by the content of their taxis)

Roy conforts Hayley in her time of need:
"Neither of us are going to be alone for a very long time"


Well, ladies and gentlemen of Corrie Nation, so ends another week. I confess I skived a bit this week and consequently missed Wednesday's episode. It won't happen again. Enjoy the weekend and I'll be back next week with more of Blanche's Polish Hip. Cheers! 

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