Saturday, July 18, 2015

Coronation Street Weekender: the Deirdre Anne Barlow edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street

We all knew it was coming but it was still a shock. Bev, a former Rovers barmaid, fiance of Fred (the butcher) Elliot and longtime friend of Deirdre's, showed up at Ken's doorstep on the day of Deirdre's 60th birthday to share the bad news: Deirdre has died.

Ken and Tracy are devastated.  The birthday celebrations at the Rovers quickly turn into an impromptu wake. Like other watchers, I thought the 'wind blowing open the door of the Rovers' bit was a little OTT, but all-in-all a gut wrenching couple of episodes. All else pales in comparison. To wit:

Julie leaves Dev and decides to take that round-the-world trip with Brian. Don't worry about her job at the factory, maybe someone will mention it to Carla.

Liz's new beau just happens to be an old client of Leanne (when she was employed in the world's oldest profession - no,not Java programmer). That's a little, how you say, "awkward" particularly since Dan was a rather nasty customer.

Speaking of Leanne, Simon is getting ruder and stroppier by the second. Roy discovers that Cathy is a hoarder. Carla is doing a lot of online gambling.

And, since we can't go a week without the Platts, Michael continues to snub Gail. Callum makes Kylie an offer she can refuse. David and Kylie re-become a couple. Callum dumps Sarah but Bethany intervenes and uses bribery (i.e. knowledge of his drug dealing - even though everyone already knows that) to force Callum to get back together with her Mum.  This obliges David and Kylie to cook up a plan to expose Callum (been there, done that, already got stuffed into the trunk of a car).

And now a few lines from the week:

Mary to Dev re: his failed relationship with Julie:
"Sometimes you have all the emotional sensitivity of a pineapple"
(that's an insult to tropical fruit everywhere)

Dan to Leanne upon recognizing her as a former escort
"I always thought you were overqualified"
(check her LinkedIn page)

Callum disses David to Kylie:
"He's a Mommy's boy, a hairdresser, a clown"
(what's your point?)

Simon to Leanne:
"You're ugly, you're mean and I hate you"
(speak plainly young man)

David reminisces with Kylie about love at first sight:
"I knew when I first saw you and I saw you dancing in that cage"
(then they opened the cage and everything went downhill from there)

Kylie to Gail re: Callum's treatment of Sarah:
"He's playing her like a banjo"
(reminds me of Deliverance)

Eileen peruses the menu while dining with Michael:
"I'm certainly not ordering kangaroo pasta"
(I hear it comes in a pouch)

Liz is devastated by the death of Deirdre:
"She was my best friend, my wingman"

Liz makes the sad announcement in the Rovers:
"Our dear friend and my best friend Deirdre passed away a couple of hours ago"
(we'll miss you, D)

That's it for the week, fellow devotees of Deirdre. A couple of sad episodes to end the week and more tears to come next week, I fear. Oh well. I'll be raising a glass of non-alcoholic beer (followed by a glass of alcoholic beer) to her this weekend (I like to pace myself). Cheers to all.

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