Saturday, July 4, 2015

Coronation Street Weekender: the Yogalates edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street

Yogalates? Everyone's doing it. It combines the contemplative tranquility of yoga with the frenetic energy of Pilates. Great! Sign me up. Not.

Yogalates is the brainchild (we use the word loosely - ed) of Talisa and she's at the gym teaching Dev, Julie and Brian. Brian? Well he's staying at Ken's (lucky Tracy - ed) and still trying to win Julie back and Dev's keeping his fingers crossed.

But the big news is Fiz is back. Yeah! Elsewhere, Tim and Anna come to terms with the sad fact that Miley would be better off with Jackson's parents.

Alya broke up with Gary (they call him the 'vitamin lover' because he gets dumped once a day - ed) and she is racked with guilt because she slept with Jason. Liz continues her dalliance with that oily fella who calls everyone "dollface" (that's Mr. Dollface to you - ed).

Roy continues to observe strange behaviour by Cathy. Michael continues to ignore Gail but is concerned when Andy (formerly fake Gavin) gets into a minor traffic accident. At the Rovers, it's pub quiz night and excitement builds as the punters try to figure out the meaning of onomatopoeia.

Nick kisses Carla and it's doing his head in. Meanwhile Erica is celebrating her 50th and is taken to hospital with ominous abdominal pains. I feel a convenient plot twist coming...

Now for some lines of the week:

Gary proposes to Alya:
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you"
(um... would you settle for the next five minutes?) 


Gary relates the outcome of his proposal to Jason:
"She dumped me from a great height"
(top of the viaduct?)


Liz tells her new beau that she's not partial to Chateaubriand:
"It's like eating warm suede"
(with a side order of Hush Puppies)


Alya confesses to Jason:
"I was a virgin"
(and he was Mr Gay Weatherfield, so I think you're even)


Tracy doesn't like the look of Brian in Ken's robe:
"Sat there in a kimono looking like something out of Basic Instinct"
(and not Sharon Stone either)


Eileen declines Brian's offer of dinner at Ken's:
"I'd rather watch a Dr. Who marathon"
(I take it, that's a 'no'?)


Tracy to Brian after tasting his gourmet cooking:
"I think I've had enough coq au vin for one day"
(next time, more vin and less coq)


Ken summarizes Brian's quest for Julie:
"For those who love, time is eternity"
(from an American named van Dyke - but not Dick)


Norris is not impressed by Chesney's single area of quiz expertise:
"The life and times of Noel Gallagher"
(I guess Mary will have to handle questions about Liam)


Julie tells Brian to sling his hook:
"HMS Julie has dropped anchor in more exotic waters"
(yes but Dev could be shipping out)


Question in the pub's quiz night:
"Who won the 2014 Eurovision song contest?"
(I just hope it wasn't James Blunt)

***

Well, fellow waifs of Weatherfield, so ends another week on the Street. I'm delighted that Fiz is back. I wonder if Gail will be going somewhere for a few months. Just asking. And where do they get those distinctive Platt tea mugs? You can't miss them. I think they have a cameo on every show. Ah well, so ends my mithering for another week. Thanks as always for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!

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