Sunday, February 14, 2016

Not in praise of Valentine's Day: Coronation Street's 10 worst romances

On Valentine's Day, (like most days), our thoughts turn to Coronation Street and a rough list of the ten worst love affairs and/or ill-fated romances we've seen over the years. Hit it:

1. Fred Elliott & Orchid
Our late, favourite butcher was widely known as a serial proposer, ready to marry anything that moved. His true love came in the guise of a mail order bride named Orchid. She seemed too good to be true - and she was. She turned out to Stacy Hilton from the market and was after his money.

2. Dev & Maya
Ah, Dev! Where to begin?  Maya was a solicitor. She and Dev had a thing going until she became jealous of Sunita, smashed up Dev's flat, blew up a gas stove and set fire to Dev's shops. Ouch! Ever hear of unfriending?

3. Dev & Tara
Dev has a brief romance with the daughter (Tara) of a business colleague but things go sour. Tara convinces Dev to let himself be photographed naked and then, surprise, surprise, she posts a huge photo of him on the side of a building, naked with the word LIAR printed on it. An Instagram moment.

4. Gail & Richard Hillman
She married a serial killer. That's all you really need to know.

5. Rosie & John Stape
It's a lot like the Police song "Don't stand so close to me". Stape was an English teacher. Rosie was a student. She ends up getting kidnapped... twice.

6. Audrey & Marc
He was great. He was also a cross-dresser. No-one wore the pants in the family.

7. Audrey & Lewis Archer
Lewis was a charming Lothario.  He took advantage of Audrey... twice.

8. Gail & Lewis Archer
Really, Gail?  Your Mom's ex-boyfriend/cad/con artist? And this after you married a serial killer?

9. Deirdre & Jon Lindsay
Ken's late love, Deirdre, once fell in love with an airline pilot, Jon Lindsay. Nice fella. Turns out he wasn't an airline pilot. He worked in a tie shop at the airport (close enough).  He also was up to his ears in financial scams. And, oh yes, he was married with a family on the side. Bigamist and fraud artist? What a catch! Deirdre is found guilty of fraud and goes to jail.

10. Norris & Angela
Believe it or not, Norris was married. To a woman. Her name was Angela. She ran a stationery empire. Unsurprisingly they divorced. It wasn't exactly Anthony and Cleopatra. More like Cleopatra and the asp.


  1. Great summary of failed romances. Seems like certain characters don't learn, like Dev, Gail, and Audrey.

  2. Thanks for the comment and it's true that the most failed romances seem to always happen to the same characters. All the best.