Sunday, February 14, 2016
Not in praise of Valentine's Day: Coronation Street's 10 worst romances
On Valentine's Day, (like most days), our thoughts turn to Coronation Street and a rough list of the ten worst love affairs and/or ill-fated romances we've seen over the years. Hit it:
1. Fred Elliott & Orchid
Our late, favourite butcher was widely known as a serial proposer, ready to marry anything that moved. His true love came in the guise of a mail order bride named Orchid. She seemed too good to be true - and she was. She turned out to Stacy Hilton from the market and was after his money.
2. Dev & Maya
Ah, Dev! Where to begin? Maya was a solicitor. She and Dev had a thing going until she became jealous of Sunita, smashed up Dev's flat, blew up a gas stove and set fire to Dev's shops. Ouch! Ever hear of unfriending?
3. Dev & Tara
Dev has a brief romance with the daughter (Tara) of a business colleague but things go sour. Tara convinces Dev to let himself be photographed naked and then, surprise, surprise, she posts a huge photo of him on the side of a building, naked with the word LIAR printed on it. An Instagram moment.
4. Gail & Richard Hillman
She married a serial killer. That's all you really need to know.
5. Rosie & John Stape
It's a lot like the Police song "Don't stand so close to me". Stape was an English teacher. Rosie was a student. She ends up getting kidnapped... twice.
6. Audrey & Marc
He was great. He was also a cross-dresser. No-one wore the pants in the family.
7. Audrey & Lewis Archer
Lewis was a charming Lothario. He took advantage of Audrey... twice.
8. Gail & Lewis Archer
Really, Gail? Your Mom's ex-boyfriend/cad/con artist? And this after you married a serial killer?
9. Deirdre & Jon Lindsay
Ken's late love, Deirdre, once fell in love with an airline pilot, Jon Lindsay. Nice fella. Turns out he wasn't an airline pilot. He worked in a tie shop at the airport (close enough). He also was up to his ears in financial scams. And, oh yes, he was married with a family on the side. Bigamist and fraud artist? What a catch! Deirdre is found guilty of fraud and goes to jail.
10. Norris & Angela
Believe it or not, Norris was married. To a woman. Her name was Angela. She ran a stationery empire. Unsurprisingly they divorced. It wasn't exactly Anthony and Cleopatra. More like Cleopatra and the asp.