Saturday, March 19, 2016

Coronation Street Catch-Up: the Human Spam edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street

"Are you now, or have you ever been, a gossipy busybody? Answer the question Mr. Cole!"

It's election time on the street and Sally is fighting it out with Norris. Man versus woman. Conservative versus Independent. Sweater vest versus fascinator... (get on with it! - ed). And it's gloves off at the candidates debate when Sally's family history is dragged through the mud.

Billy and Eva are still trying to find Marta after Marta stole Billy's phone and got Eva sacked. A reluctant Aidan agrees to drive them to the last known whereabouts of Billy's phone - even if it means driving to Bolton, dammit. Dev and Erica seems to have found a happy, sex-oriented entente (aka SWB: shopkeepers with benefits).

Bethany is having a terrible time dealing with bullies at school and takes out her frustration by throwing Gail's Mary Berry cake at the wall (better than having to eat it, one imagines - ed) during Sarah's baby shower. (By the way, Sarah had her ultrasound and, good news, the baby is a... drug dealer).

Tracy squeezes an extra 10 grand out of Carla to help Robert buy the bistro and meanwhile, over at the yard, Feelan is busy stealing Jason's tools and selling them - except that Andy finds out and tells Michael. Michael confronts Feelan only to suffer a cardiac episode much to Feelan's cackling delight.

And now a few lines from the week that was:

Sally attacks Norris during the candidates debate:
"You're just a small-minded gossip"
(yes, but he has the backing of the powerful small-minded gossip lobby)


Tracy presents Robert with the 10 grand he needs to buy the bistro:
"I've got something that will make your souffle rise"
(a pre-heated oven or sexy pix of Carla?)


Mary tries to discourage Dev's lady friend:
"He doesn't have a bedroom door, he has a turnstile"
(and sometimes queues)


Gail is shocked when Bethany throws her cake against the wall:
"That's a Mary Berry"
(it still is, it's just more diffuse and vertical)


Gail shares her life dream with Audrey:
"I've always fancied playing the saxophone"
(I've always fancied marrying a serial killer) 


Sally to Tim re: her campaign strategy:
"I'm going to be the face of family values"
(well, maybe not the face)


Sean to Norris the political campaigner:
"You know what you are?  Human Spam"
(Now available at Freshcos) 


Erica to Liz re: Dev's lack of ardour:
"I may as well hang up my lucky knickers"
(preferably in a sealed hazmat chamber)

***

Well, colleagues of the cobbles, so ends another week. I hope someone helps Michael although I have a feelin' it won't be Feelan. Have a great week and thanks so much for stopping by and spending some time at the Hip. All the best!

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