Tough week for Kirkie as he chooses between Norris and Beth.
Norris: owns his own business, makes breakfast and plays board games.
Beth: does not own her own business, orders takeaway and gets bored of games.
Still, in the end, Kirk eschews those tasty boiled eggs and glasses of sherry (pre-war vintage from Emily's stash no doubt) for life with Beth.
Speaking of romance, Gary and Izzy manage to lock lips before Izzy gets sent down for two months for drug possession and for playing dodgem cars with a copper.
The big news? Well, Liz is back (yay!) and shocked to discover that Steve is letting Michelle leave him. Michelle almost makes it to her cruise ship gig but things go awry and she returns to Weatherfield and decides to stay with Steve due to a timely intervention by Amy.
Speaking of Amy, her violin playing at the school auditorium brought tears to my eyes. Horsehair on raw catgut never sounded so moving. Tracy decides to show up unannounced and uninvited and everything goes awry. Following a superb acting job by Eccles (who pretends to be Tracy's friend), Trace collapses in the ginnel. Seems her kidney is on the blink but not to worry she'll be okay and back to her psycho self shortly.
Meanwhile Caz is pretending to be sick and Luke's onto her. He tells Sophie and now they're both suspicious. Jason is off to Thailand for a few months, at least I think it's the country and not neck-wear specialty store in Manchester known as Tie Land.
Cackling Phelan couldn't be happier and all it took to dislodge Jason was torching the gormless lad's car. But wait! Looks like Eileen has been appointed CEO of Jason Inc in his absence. That means Pat won't be able to get his grubby little hands on Jason's bank account, at least not yet.
And now for a few lines from last week:
Liz to Amy:
"I met Paul McCartney once"
(are you sure it wasn't Ringo?)
Chesney to Sinead re:Kirk's arrangement with Norris:
"There are some needs that a 70 year-old news agent just can't meet"
(twerking night at the Bistro?)
Gail to David re: the stigma of Callum's death:
"I've been sleeping on top of a dead body for months"
(not to mention during her last marriage)
Beth to Kirk re: Norris:
"How could you choose that owl in a cardigan over me?"
(let's just say it was a really sexy cardigan)
Tracy to Beth:
"You can do better than Kirk. He's got the personality of an ironing board"
(whoa! He's not that charismatic)
Amy explains her dysfunctional family situation to Maria:
"I'm the product of a broken Britain"
(See what you've done, Nigel Farage!)
Erica to Liz:
"How about a boozy lunch?"
(how is that different from your regular lunch?)
Well, faithful followers, so ends another week. In a rare brush with fame, I got to meet William Shatner last week (really). Got me thinking about a guest appearance by him on Corrie. I would see him as the new owner of Underworld. Think of their new slogan: "Our knickers: where no man has gone before". Thanks for stopping by and all the best.