Saturday, August 6, 2016

Coronation Street Catch Up: the most fertile man in the world edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.

Call him the Weatherfield love god, the fertility liability, the hornycopia, the sperminator, the humpty numpty or the sex factor.

Whatever you call him, Steve McDonald's prodigious procreative talents have got him into a heap of trouble. Seems like the virile pint puller had a one-night stand with Leanne and she's now pregnant with Steve Jr. So far, no-one knows that Steve is the Dad except Leanne, Steve and Liz. (You can expect that list to grow exponentially shortly).

To make matters worse, Michelle's biological clock has gone from snooze to wake-up and she wants Steve to do the seed deed with her. All this is, as they say, "doing Steve's head in" and Liz thinks Steve needs to tell Michelle the truth. Good luck with that.

Elsewhere, sadder news prevails. Grief over Kylie's untimely death at the stabby hands of lowlife and kebab thief Clayton continues. David is trying to keep it together and plans the funeral with Rev Billy (poems will include: 'Stop all the Cage Dancing" by W.H. Auden).

Johnny and Jenny are off again and on again. Seems that Jenny wants to keep their romance a secret so she can feed Johnny inside info about Beth's skiving from the shop floor.

Dev crumbles under the pressure and confesses to Erica that he and Mary shared a bed at the spa. Caz is staying with Maria and making a desperate attempt to win Kate back. Luke is not amused at having Caz around and it seems to be causing friction.

Sally and Yasmeen continue their fierce rivalry until they are brought together by a common interest in global warming and the uselessness of their respective spouses. Oh, and Eva's back in town.

And now for a few lines from last week:

Kylie to David as she's dying:
"I'm just a gobby cow"
(yes, but you're our gobby cow and you'll be missed)

Maria to Caz re: Luke's hostility
"Just ignore Luke, I haven't finished training him yet"
(she'll get to it once she's completed Ozzy's training)

Yasmeen to Sally:
"You look remarkably bilious"
(a traditional greeting, I believe)

Johnny to Jenny Bradley:
"You've thought about my hands?"
(and Donald Trump's)

Sally shares her passion with Yasmeen:
"Hello? Global warming people!"
(very convincing)

Sally wants to ensure that her soiree is better than Yasmeen's:
"I'm going to have to take my nibbles up a notch"
(and you should improve your snacks too)

Sally again:
"I'm really fretting about this croquembuche"
(can't you put some ointment on it?)

Liz to Steve after hearing about his one night stand with Leanne:
"The most fertile man in the whole world"
(too bad, it's Steve)

Leanne tells Steff to stop guessing the identitiy of the father:
"My sex life is not a game of Cluedo"
(Steve, in your apartment, with a bottle of plonk. Am I close?)

Liz to Steve after he reveals his double Dad plan (first Leanne and now trying with Michelle):
"This has got disaster written all over it"
(It's the Titanic of legovers)


Well, prodigious punters, looks like Corrie is "on vacation" here in Canada while the Olympics are on. Oh well, I guess this gives us time to do other things like... um.. well I'm sure we'll figure something out. Thanks so much for stopping by and for your kind comments (always appreciated) and enjoy the next couple of weeks. I'll be back when Corrie comes back. Till then, all the best!

1 comment:

  1. How would society function without euphemisms?
    How will we cope with this cold turkey withdrawal?