Saturday, February 4, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the sex ban edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street

Let's agree that both Steff and Luke could do better. Steff is stuck with Andy Le Plank, you know, the saddo who pretended to be Michael's son, then tried to kill Phelan and made a cock-up of it, then tried to poison Phelan and made a cock-up of it... shall I go on?

Then there's Luke dating Voldemorticia (aka Tracy Barlow), the Lucretia Borgia of Coronation Street. What gives? But I digress.

When we left off, Andy and Steff were planning to make their escape to Portugal - except Phelan has cornered Andy in his apartment with an incriminating laptop computer (Kev's) with footage of Phelan outlining his misdeeds. How did Andy wind up with Kev's computer? Simple, Phelan blackmailed Andy into torching Kev's garage and Andy grabbed it while setting the fire (this after Andy Sans Spine had stolen Kev's new tow truck). To make matters worse, Kevin was arrested on suspicion of arson.

Elsewhere, Michelle is grieving for her lost child and shutting out Steve as she makes plans for the funeral. Meanwhile, a distraught Steve shares his paternity secret with Peter (i.e. that he's the father of Leanne's baby). Shona is working at Roy's and David spies her.

Good news? Eileen is marrying Pat (aka Felonius Skunk). Daniel gives Sinead a Venus Flytrap as an unusual gift but it dies after Gemma tries feeding it a piece of kebab (shouldn't that serve as a warning to human customers?)  Sally imposes a sex ban on Tim and Tim imposes a talking ban on Sally. Hmm, I wonder who wins?  That creepy tanning salon guy convinces Bethany to make a video.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Bethany shares her career aspirations with the creepy tanning salon guy:
"What I'm really interested in is nail technology"
(I believe Harvard offers a degree in that)

Sally to Tim:
"Are you being purposely obtuse?"
(not purposely)

Phelan has a request for Andy:
"I would appreciate it if you would burn down Kev's garage"
(an RSVP would be appreciated)

Sally dismisses Tim's offer of pork scratchings:
"There's more nutrition in a pair of flip flops
(and more fibre)

Tracy wants Luke to erase her risque performance from the CCTV footage on Kev's laptop:
"I have no desire to become a YouTube star"
(we prefer cat videos anyway)

Tim to Sally:
"Let's go upstairs and work things out in the bedroom like we usually do"
(shouldn't take more than five minutes)

Sally to Tim:
"I'm imposing a sex ban"
(maybe it will be overturned by a judge)

Andy to Steff:
"Phelan's been blackmailing me"
(and he made me visit him in hospital)

Kev to the Rovers customers as he's being arrested for arson:
"I didn't start the fire"
(maybe it was Billy Joel?)


Well, patient punters, it looks like we will have to wait longer to witness Phelan get his comeuppance (if it ever happens). In the meantime, let's hope Kev manages to extricate himself from this streak of misfortune at the hands of his nemesis.  Have a great week and thanks for stopping by. Cheers!

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