Wild about Harry

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 30 episode on CBC

There's a lot of drama going on in the street. Teresa, who seems more and more like some kind of robo-villain out of a Terminator movie or a CIA assassin from the Bourne Identity, is becoming more scary by the minute. Unless that was some kind of shoe phone in her hand, I can only imagine what she did to that young thugette (Abi's assailant) in the washroom of the Milk Bar. Nice of her to help out Mel though, even if it meant breaking several laws and being a certified sociopath. But isn't that what being a good mum is all about?

Meanwhile Nina and Dev continue their dance of deception at Dev's fancy new apartment. (Is it my imagination, or does Prem drop by at least ten times a day? I thought he had a business empire to run). Nina continues to charm the tortured Devster with flattering utterances like "Don't fall at the first fence." (translation: Dev is a horse, possibly a lame horse)

But the prize of the day goes to the Diva Deluxe, Clarissa, who makes a puzzling return to the Rover's (I'd certainly go back to an establishment where I was previously dragged out by my hair, wouldn't you?). Seems Clarissa has some rules which must be observed by Harry if he wants to continue supping ale in his favourite local. Clarissa only reveals one rule ("You do not stand chatting at the bar") but I'm sure she has a few more. I don't know what they are but they probably go something like this...

Clarissa's ground rules for Harry in the Rover's
1. Do not stand chatting at the bar
2. Do not talk to the slapper landlady unless she is standing directly in front of the dart board
3. Do not flirt with Betty Turpin while ordering a hotpot
4. Do not accidentally brush up against any of Liz's low-cut leopard skin outfits
5. Do not ask Vernon to sing 'Mason's Arms'

CSI Weatherfield

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 16 episode on CBC

I'm thinking about an idea for a Coronation Street spin-off called 'CSI Weatherfield'. It would be a slick series about a down-market crime scene investigation unit based in a spiffy building somewhere near the Red Wreck. The detectives would be called in to investigate different crime scenes each week. One week, it could be a building site where endangered bats have been evicted. Another episode would focus on a man in London seen going to a bar with another man. Then there's the case of a Kebab shop owner who is rushed to hospital after banging his head on a coffee table.

Poor Jerry is in surgery. At first glance, it looks like an open and shut case. He's a man who is not in very good physical shape with a diagnosed heart condition. He banged his head and, because he's on blood thiners, his internal bleeding is difficult to stop. This is sad and gut-wrenching for Darryl and Mel and the other kids. However, I am looking forward to detectives putting Teresa in an interrogation room under a light and grilling her (with time out for fag breaks, of course).

The only puzzling part of this whole unhappy plot is Teresa herself, a hard-faced opportunist, liar, cheat, shirker, skiver... (That's enough. We get it - ed). She seems to have no redeeming qualities whatsoever and that's unusual on the Street. Of course, there's also the curious case of David Platt, succeeding in his devious plan to get back together with Tina. Frankly, I'm surprised that Tina has succumbed to the dubious charms of the Platt-man. I guess she's forgotten that quaint little cautionary rhyme which, I believe, goes something like this:

One for sorrow
Two for a pal
Three for a psycho driving in the canal
Four for a table
Five for the chairs
Six for the yob who pushed his mom down the stairs

Well, what were you expecting? Keats?